Vantage point

Thursday, August 29, 2002

TV after so many days

I watched the telly after many days today. (I dont count watching cricket matches as watching TV) I decided to watch one of those shows which show continuous trailers, since I have been out of touch with the Hindi film and music scene. A few observations-

- Rani Mukherjee has gotten even fatter than she was, and still she insists on wearing short dresses. Some people never realise their pitfalls.

- Is this just the effect of Lucknow or is Raveena Tandon looking really amazing in the "Agnivarsha" trailer?

- If someone decided to take Salman Khan, bash his face up real bad, and then give him a really artless plastic srugery with a larynx transplant, what you would get is Sohail Khan. That "Maine Dil Tujhko Diya" thing, I mean what? Why? How can people generate such tripe and expect a crowd for that movie? If any of you watched the movie for any reasons other than professional duty, I will judge you! The trailer was enough to give me the creeps. That actress, she looks like an experiment in the human genome project gone wrong. I think she was in some silly Pankaj Udhas video before this, defacing the pretty city of Sydney.

- Speaking of Pankaj Udhas, that guy is a blot on the name of Ghazal singers. Who on earth listens to him? And as if he did not sound unripe enough, some smart-ass music company has come with an album called "Together" which features songs of Pankaj Udhas and (hold your breath) Jagjit Singh in it. How could they do this. Firstly it is an insult to the great Jagjit that his songs should share magnetic material with Udhas' attempts at melody. Sacrilege!! It is like coming out with a video of "The best batting innings of Sachin Tendulkar and Mpumelelo Mbangwa - a Tribute to two great batsmen", or printing a collection of " The fiction of William Shakespeare and Sidney Sheldon together".
Secondly, listen to the trailer. After Jagjit's voice, when you hear Pankaj's voice, it sounds so baaaaaaaaad, that you immediately want to change channels. Whatever little respect/admiration one has for Pankaj is sure to be destroyed when you hear his voice immediately after Jagjit.

- Am I the only one who thinks Jackie Shroff should retire gracefully? What is this latest attempt at being the angry young dinosaur?

- Chhal's song video is cool. I am so desparately searching for a VCD of Chhal.

- Is this movie called "Zindagi Khoobsurat Hai" a direct take on "Life is Beautiful"? If so, someone make sure Bennini never comes to India. Even he will lose his cool.

This half an hour of watching the trailers left me disoriented. It took half an hour of Frasier (which, I now learn is aired on weekdays) to get me back to normal.


How to shut up a guy trying to be extremely corny by coming up with a witty barb based on his corniness

I am the corny guy in question and the person who shut me up is Gautam Rajan, the guy who sits next to me in class. During a particularly boring lecture, I felt the urge to go to sleep. The method is simple. Just put your head in your arms on the desk and doze off. However, the whole class was awake and alert. Usually someone has fallen asleep so I can just follow the trend. But trend-setter I did not want to be, atleast in this case.

Me:(whispering) I want to sleep
GR: Then go to sleep.
Me: But no one else is sleeping.
GR: You can be the first one. A Pioneer.
Me: I am not a Pioneer. (suddenly remembering that there is a newspaper called "Pioneer" in Northern India and seeing an opportunity for a corny joke and pouncing on it. For that matter I am not a Times of India
GR: (keeps looking at the Professor without a hint of irritation at my corniness)
Me: (pushing my luck) I am not a Statesman, I am not an Indian Express, I am not a Hindustan Times....
GR: (giving me the smug look that a Guillotine Operator during the French Revolution probably gave the Noblemen he was going to execute) But you are a Hindu.

I shut my trap for the next few minutes, and then muttered "Good One". No more corniness till sundown

Wednesday, August 28, 2002


We, the undersigned, would like to nominate Miss Sonal Bhushan for the Nobel Peace Prize for 2003 in view of her immense contribution to the cause of bloggers and blogging fans. In a very touching gesture, Miss Bhushan has offered us the use of the YACCS commenting system, which allows her up to 4 more blogs. Considering the fickle and treacherous commenting systems other than YACCS, and their propensity to go off service, Miss Bhushan could have easily sold the extra comment provisions for a whopping profit ( our sources tell us the going rate for a YACCS ID in the black market is $ 4.3 million) and retired to the Cayman islands. She however selflessly chose to bestow two of the YACCS ID's upon us. As a result, we, who had vowed to hack (with knives and hatchets, not breaking into their servers) the owners of the enetation and netcomments services, and do a variant of a West African dance on their remains, have embraced the path of peace.

We hope the Nobel Committee recognizes the significance of her actions and announces her name as the recipient of the 2003 Peace Prize.


Gaurav Sabnis
Satyen Kale


So I am back after a brief hiatus caused due to a host of quizzes, assignments and projects.

First about my birthday. Satyen and others will be pleased/sad to know that I did not get any bumps or kicks. The reason being the size of our hostel. All hostels till now have had a capacity of 30 or at the most 60. The Hostel Reps are in charge of gathering the data about birthdays. The Hostel 11 is the first Hostel with a capacity of 90 and the HR forgot to jot down the birthdays of the Top Floor guys. I did not feel like shouting from the rooftops that it was my birthday. Hence on 00:00 hours, 26th August, I wasn't kicked, bumped, splashed or Kane-ed (that's not a typo for 'caned', Kane-ed means when you take ample amounts of cake and rub it in the face, hair ears and nasal cavity of the person whose birthday it is. Word derived from Aniruddha Kane of Virginia, formerly a resident of Pune, who gleefully indulged in this activity. Virginia, beware!)

The day that followed was good. My parents and my sister called up in the morning, and urged me to buy a cake or something. Then Madhura called up from a PCO booth, before her GRE preparation class. I had a liesurely breakfast, something that rarely happens. Then off to class. We had a couple of tests, and I studied a bit, gathered data for my project, watched Apollo 13, followed, ironically by the famous FOX documentary about how the NASA never went to the moon.

In the evening, I was reading some stuff, when Satyen called, and later, for the first time, Suku and I spoke on the phone. It was great talking to her.

All in all, a pretty decent birthday considering the surroundings. Maybe this Sunday, I will take some friends out to dinner to the city. I did not buy a cake by the way. I am not a big fan of cakes. I did however polish off two packets of Chocolate Chip cookies that I mentioned earlier. Hide n Seek!!

I also got many many many emails, the replies to which I am still sending, 2 days after the birthday.

My best birthday gift, however came from Yorkshire. India beat England by an innings and 46 runs in the Headingley test, and came back to level the series 1-1. The Indian team batted perfectly, bowled like champions and fielded like tigers. On a pitch more suitable for the English seam bowlers, the Indian team totally outplayed their opponents. Tendulkar went past Bradman's 29 centuries, and made 193. It would have been good had he gotten to his first double hundred abroad.

All in all, a memorable day.

Sunday, August 25, 2002

Today we had an event called "Dalal Street". It was a mock stock market game, with a great software made by the Portfolio Management Club people. I had a great time participating in it.

Me and my buddy started out with 800,000 rupees and at the end we had 1,060,000. Cool eh?

Hot tip: Buy as much infosys as you can

Saturday, August 24, 2002

There are times when men claim to be something, but events prove otherwise.

There are men who claim that they hate sweets, and then comes in their life, a packet of Chocolate Chip cookies.

As Tolkien said, "The hearts of men are easily corrupted."

By the way, after you have finished the whole packet of Hide & Seek cookies in half an hour, you sit pining for more. Then an hour later, as you pick up the packet to throw it in a dust bin, you see a piece of the cookie left. This small triangular piece, eaten with slow relish over the next five minutes, tastes so much yummier than the 15 before that.

Let us start a movement.

We'll call this movement "The People for Convincing Aditi to get a Comments Box on her Blog Movement".

She can say so much in so few words. Alas, there is no comments box for you to leave your compliments.


I know many people who will be aware of a thousand things happening anywhere in the world, but have no inkling of the big upheavels in Indian politics.

"Politics? It's so boring, yaar" is their most common refrain.

While I am no one to judge anyone for their disinterest in a specific field, one thing that politics is not, is, boring.

The BJP, has recently been giving us a lot of food for thought and is keeping us fully entertained.

I have grown up disliking the Congress. I saw and read about how Nehruvian Socialism and Indira's zealous Nationalisation brought the country nothing but corruption and stagnancy. Add to it their various scams. That is why, when the BJP rose to prominence, I expected something different. I did not expect an unrealistic windfall under which poverty would vanish in 5 years. But i expected a start towards the right direction.

How stupid of me!!

After seeing them in power for 3 eyars, I have realised that like C made way for C++, Congress has simply made way for Congress++, that is the BJP. The BJP has all the vices that the Congress has, has committed all the sins the Congress committed, and, in true Home Trade spirit, the BJP is a bit more.

You can see it in their standard defence. Whenever they are asked about anything that went wrong, they will talk of the Congress rule.

q- The tehelka defence scandal?
a- What about Bofors?

q- The Petrol Pump scam?
a- What about Harshad Mehta's suitcase to rao?

q- Gujarat riots?
a- What about 1984 Sikh riots?

This party does not have any answers. It just has questions.

In the process, the BJP ends up looking stupider by the day.

Look at this whole Lyngdoh issue. Modi insinuated that because Lyngdoh was Christian, he was close to Sonia Gandhi, and so he postponed the Gujarat polls. That is so laughable. There are about 2 crore christians in India. Are they all close to Sonia?

Then there is Thackeray. He says he wants to retire from politics because it has become "very dirty" and "there is no scope for anyone who wants to serve the people", blah blah blah. He says this a day after he fired Suresh Prabhu, the Power Minister, who according to anyone and everyone was doing a good job. So why was Prabhu fired inspite of his efforts at reforms?

Thackeray says it is because "he wanted to be called Mr. Clean" and "was not doing his job well". In plainspeak, that means he was working for the people and not for the party. Talk about hypocrisy. The one Shivsainik who was actually working well, was fored for narrowminded reasons. And then Thackeray says politics is dirty.

That's like a pig complaining about how dirty the sty is.

Anyway, the Congress is bad. The BJP is worse. The left? Don't even get me started on the left.
So what does an Indian do when he goes to vote?
An Indian generally does not go to vote. An Indian goes to the US embassy, or the Australian embassy, or the British embassy, or even the Kenyan embassy. He leaves the country.

So where does this leave the country?

In the hands of thugs like Modi and Murli Manohar Joshi. In hands of actors like Advani and Jaitley.

In the hands of pompous hollow masks like Vajpayee.

Lazy Weekend?? Not quite!

I remember that someone told me that you start valuing weekends so much more after you come to IIM. Here are a few things I intended to do on a lazy Saturday afternoon-

- Read all the posts on since the last week.
- Read the descriptions on all sites of the 2nd day's play of the Headingly test in which Sachin and Saurav mauled the English bowlers.
- Read the latest, and what will perhaps be the last issue I can access, of
- Read about what happened to the whole Lyngdoh-Kalam-Modi issue, and read Seshan's interview
- Read Khushee's blog which looks so yummy, I could eat it.
- Watch James Bond movie on the insti network, probably Dr. No or Thunderball
- Write a post about everything mentioned above

However, one more thing was added to the list

- Meet the Economics101 project group after lunch and start working on the report and the primary data survey questionnaire.

This is tagged with a much higher priority, and so all other things will have to wait.

I am feeling very tempted to read 'Snapshots from Hell'

Friday, August 23, 2002

Since Khushee seems to have no problems with netcomments, I am switching to that system. I will transfer the old comments to this system in a couple of days. Till then, remember to click on the link above, not the one below.

Thanks Khushee

Thursday, August 22, 2002


Remember that magic period of your life called pre-teens? In fact the years 13 and 14, at least in the case of boys, can also be called pre-teens, because they still think in 'that' way.

Among the many many many things that make those years special, are the books you read. Remember that school library with all those story-books? The exchanging and borrowing of books between clases, and often, during clases? If I had followed Polonius' advice from Hamlet - "Neither a Borrower nor a Lender be!", I would probably have read just 1 % of the books I eventually read. So ole William was wrong there.

Do you remember those book exchanging times ? If you are a guy, do you remember hunting for a "Hardy Boys"? Those two intrepid boy sleuths who could crack any mystery under the sun? Remember the thrill you felt when you read about them solving a case?

Well, I don't!!!!

In my opinion, "The Hardy Boys" was a cleverly disguised and well marketed version of bullshit. I read one book of their's sometime in class 4 or 5. I said to myself, "Ok, these dudes are promising". Then I read another book. At the end of it, I was like "Hullo, Wasn't this identical to the first book?". But I put it down to a confused and immature mind that comes with the territory when you enter the double digits of age. So I read a third Hardy Boys book, and was disgusted halfway through.

I thought "I may be 10, but does this Franklin W Dixon dude think he can take me for a ride?" (By the way, I later learnt that this dude didn't exist. It was a big group of writers who created this hogwash under a common name. Ditto Carolyn Keene.) I lost hope. Maybe I was destined not to read a story book. By the time I was 10, I had finished the whole "Famous Five" series and eaten up "Tintin". I thought of taking up an alternate hobby like white-water rafting or body-piercing, when someone said "Let there be light"!

Satyen was reading this curious book with a few question marks on it. Three to be precise. I asked him about it, and he told me it was his favourite series. Intrigued about what the Brain of the class read, I leafed through another book with the same cover. And I loved it!!

The name of this book was "The Three Investigators", and it was about these three boys Jupiter Jones, Pete Crenshaw and Bob Andrews. They are detectives. But do not think them to be the Hardy boys kind himbos. They are a class apart. They operate out of headquarters built in a trailer van in a junkyard. No one knows about these headquarters. There are all sorts of secret passages to enter the HQ which very few people know about. Their mode of transport is a rented Rolls Royce, services of which Jupiter won when he cracked a puzzle. And they ferquently consult a dude called Alfred Hitchcock. In fact the series is titled "Alfred Hitchcock and the Three Investigators", but Al is present only in guest roles in the final chapter. At the age of 10, I had no idea who Hitchcock was and so in my mind, he will always be the "guy from Three Investigators who made many thrillers and horror movies".

Their 'visiting card' had these three question marks which symbolized "unsolved mysteries, uncracked puzzles and unanswered questions" which they were ready to take on.

Each case of their was unique, and it required a great deal of brainwork to solve it. It was a very enjoyable series, and surprisingly, very little known. In fact, fans of the Three Investigators in my school were so few, that Satyen, myself and a handful of others had no problem getting one every week from the school library. Perhaps a little selfishly, we weren't too fullsome in our praise of the books, lest their popularity catch on and the competition for the books increase. We let the 'plebians' wallow in the shallow delight of 'Hardy Boys' and 'Nancy Drew'.

It's been about 7 or 8 years since I read a "Three Investigators". The topic suddenly came up during an MSN chat with Ira, who said her favourite childhood series was "The Five Findouters". I did a google and found a great deal of info about the Three Investigators here

The creator of this series was Robert Arthur, about whom very little is known. Most people lived under the misconception that Hitchcock wrote the books.

But the man, who gave me so much delight in my pre-teen life, is a near non-entity, who got lost in the whirlwind of the Dixons and the Keenes.

I feel like reading a Three Investigators book again. Anyone have one to lend me?

I was trying to switch from enetation to another system called halo. But then, I spoke to some halo users and they told me that it is even worse, so enetation stays.

Seems like YACCS is the best option, but alas, they are not accepting new sign-ups for the moment.

What this world needs is not peace, eradication of hunger, nuclear disarmament or alternative fuels, but a good and efficient commenting system for blogs. The next time I am invited as a judge for a Miss World or Miss India, that is the answer that'll fetch 10 points from me, when I ask "What do you think the world needs the most today?". Or if I ask "How would you use your title to benefit humanity?", the answer should be "I will do all that I can to start a new and efficient commenting system for blogs."

All girls stretching their way to 5 foot 11, and starving their way to 42 kgs, hear ye, hear ye!!

Tuesday, August 20, 2002

A few minutes back, over a plate of what was intended to be pani puri, a batchmate and I agreed on the following three points-

1. Shahrukh acted better than the two females in Devdas
2. Prem Panicker is easily one of the most talented journalists/writers/columnists around. He also seems to be the most underrated, with people associating him with only cricket writing.
3. In today's world, very few people do things, just for the joy of doing them. Most also find it difficult to believe that someone can indulge in certain activities just to enjoy them. For example, quizzing, only to have fun, rather than "enhancing you GK", or solving crosswords just for the joy in it, rather than "improving your vocabulary", jogging just for the heck of it, rather than "build up your legs".
4. It would be fun to do our Summer's Training in a place like rediff and wondering if we could ask the Placement Committee to approach them.

This is the same dude with whom I had a looooooooong argument about the greatness of Sachin Tendulkar a week ago and almost had an argument about the importance of Independence Day.

Funny how two people just don't seem to agree on some days, and are in complete resonance on other.

It seems as if I have gone selectively colourblind. My eye only sees red, green and grey, wherever I go.

Monsoon has well and truly set in and it has been raining all day. i did not notice this before but now, after the sky is covered with rainclouds, one realises it very acutely. The whole scenery seems like an interplay between the three colours I mentioned above. All the hostels, the Students Mess and the Commercial Plaza have a coarse grey sandstone on the outside. All the academic block buldings, the library, the CC, etc are made of red sandstone. And everything else is covered with lush green grass or lovely trees.

With due apologies to the Beach Boys,

"All the leaves are green
And the sky is grey.."

The walk I took today from the hostel to the comp centre must've been the most enjoyable one so far. A light drizzle, and a cool breeze (a month ago, I thought Mayawati had banned those in Lucknow) in addition to the visual poetry around. It's like living in an advertisement for a tourism company.

I feel happy for being here!!!

So a big happy and dreamy smile adorns my face today.

I leave you with a self composition.

As I walked away from the station
The porter from behind hailed me "Aye Sir..!"
"You have forgotten your luggage"
He yelled.

I looked back with consideration
Shearing cobwebs with a mental scissor
"I am discarding old baggage"
His fears I dispelled.

That's me!!!

Monday, August 19, 2002


So I was online today for some time. And so was Sukanya. So we sat down and weaved a fairy tale. This fairy tale features stars cutting across studio lines, and timelines. The characters in the story are Tinkerbell, Pinocchio, Ugly Witch, Cinderella, Rumpelstiltskin (Rumpy), Jack (of the beanstalk fame), Beast (the one from Beauty and the.), and Red Riding Hood. The fairytale, goes as follows.

Tinker Bell decides to come to magic town. Magic town is a wondrous land where all sorts of glorious and spellbinding things take place. Tinkerbell decides to enroll in a part time evening course to learn wizardry and spell-craft and works as a singer in the magic coffee house during the day to pay her way The coffee house is owned by a syndicate in which the evil witch and the beast and 50-50 partners

The beast isn�t really all that bad. He used to be a prince once but owing to the evil witch he suffers from a spell. The evil witch also has a young helper. Her name is Cinderella. She is the prettiest girl in Magic town and her mind is as beautiful as her face. The evil witch loves dirty green colour and makes sure the whole coffee house is decorated in that colour. She makes Cinderella and Tinkerbell wear that colour too

Jack has heard a lot about cinderella's renowned beauty, so he too comes to magic town to see her. Pinocchio doesn�t like magic town, he wants to see the fairy land so that they make him a real boy. Rumpelstilskin is his only true friend. Rumpelstiltskin has dreams of setting up his own gingerbread company with gingerbread men of all sizes and colours.

Now here, the story gets interesting

Red riding hood has a huge crush on Rumpel but Rumpel doesn�t show any interest in her.

Jack finally comes to the witch's cottage where he lays his eyes on Cinderella and its love at first sight. The witch, who is brewing green stew senses it and wants to do something evil.

Fortunately, Pinocchio pokes his nose before the evil witch can attack Jack. Pinnochio and Tinker jump to Jack's rescue and take him to a safe place namely Rumpel's cottage. Rumpel meanwhile was digging in his garden for some beetroots when they came to his cottage. They knocked and asked him to help her. Red Riding Hood who is always hovering around Rumpel welcomes them in

Cut to Cinderella
Cinderella meanwhile has been saving up enough money to quite the job so that she can buy a new pumpkin. But the witch puts a spell and makes her think that Jack is 'stalk'ing her. She wishes to find Jack who owns a lot of pumpkins.

Cut to Beast
He has followed Pino, Tinker and Jack to Rumpel's cottage. There he lays his eyes on Red Riding Hood and his hard heart melts. The Beast has been taking foxtrot lessons. He grabs her and they start dancing to the music of silence He decides to join the good team of Pinnochio, Jack, Tinker, Rumpel and Red and tells them about the evil witche�s plans and how to go about foiling them
Tinkerbell, suddenly remembers that for her wizardry homework, she has to put the love-chant on a dancing couple and so she does just that. She takes her wand, and throws a spell in the beast�s direction. However, the beast has been immunized against chants during a special immunization drive some years ago and the chant rebounds on Tinkerbell, with the effect that the first person she will see next, she will fall in love with.

Tinkerbell lays her eyes on Jack and thunderbolts and stuff happens!! Shiny lightning and huge strawberries start dropping all over!! Rumpel and Pinocchio hold on to each other but Pino loves strawberries so he shoves Rumpel aside and starts gobbling the strawberries.

Rumpel, getting this chance, falls into the arms of riding hood. Meanwhile Jack urges everyone to get serious and do something about rescuing Cinders. Okay so now red is yo yoing between Beast and Rumpel. Tinker has been hit by Cupid. Jack wants Cinders, Cinders wants Pumpkins, Pino wants to a real boy and the evil witch wants to burn them all in her green potion.

So the six of them take their lil bows, arrows, knives, stones and magic and gear for the evil witches' den only to discover Cinders and Evil witch are trying WWF on each other. Everyone is shell shocked but then they hear some noises. The real Cinderella is on the highest room of the tallest tower. The evil witch was playing dirty games on the super 6. Now the 6 attack her and beat her up into green pulp, and then throw her into the dirty green cauldron where she turns into a pathetic slimy dirty green tapeworm

Pino quickly puts the worm into his glass bottle and smirks. As soon as the witch turns into a worm, Beast transforms into a goodlooking prince. He thanks everyone profusely and leaves for his kingdom where his nose ringed princess waits for him

Pino silently whispers Rumpels name in Red's ears and Red tells this to Rumpel and they are engaged. Jack and Cinders hug each other and climb back to the beanstalk.

And Tinker takes Pino to her fairyland where the blue fairy turns him into a real boy.

Thus, everyone is happy and they met every year at the witches cottage to celebrate their friendship.

The green tapeworm however is not invited.


p.s- Any bouquets, direct to me, any brickbats to Suku. Muhahahahahaha.

Sunday, August 18, 2002

Another cute moment from 'Signs', when Graham and Merryl (his bro) think there's an intruder outside. They both decide to corner the intruder by surrounding the house. His bro tells him to run and curse at the top of his voice. Graham, being a former reverend has reservations, what with his papal affiliations and all. But when he finally runs out, he shouts something random, and towards the end shouts "It's timefor an ass whoopin'". They run towards each other and stop

Graham: I cursed!

Merryl: I heard!

Very very cute, in my opinion.

Cracked a really poor joke today, and, as a result, failed to evoke any laughter. So I came up with this gem of a quote-

"Laughter delayed is laughter denied"

Saw M Night Shyamalan's "Signs" today. Enjoyed it a lot. It has a certain finesse about it that is not very common even in Hollywood. As I said to someone earlier, "Signs" seems like a classier version of "Independence Day". Mel Gibson, as a restrained Reverend puts in a dynamite performance, in contrast to his over the top roles in Braveheart, Patriot and Ransom. Shyamalan is there in a caemo, and the kids do a great job.

I loved Mel Gibson when he says "I won't waste a single minute of my life praying"! The angst in his voice has to be heard to be felt. The guy who played his brother does a great job too.

The movie is a good one and the pace never slackens. Is it as good as "The Sixth Sense"? Probably not, but it comes very close.

Saturday, August 17, 2002

like an ice dagger piercing my heart...
so cold and yet so very warm...
even if i tear the dagger away...
some shards may melt..
but some will stay...

like burning camphor on my hand..
painful, and yet so very divine..
even if i brush the crystals away...
some pieces evaporate..
but some will stay...

like a soulful couplet in my mind...
random, yet so meaningful...
even if i forget it some day..
some lines may drift away
but some words will be embedded...

Friday, August 16, 2002

There have been political upheavals in Uttar Pradesh in the past. However what happened yesterday was unprecedented and is unlikely to be repeated anywhere. Here is a an excerpt from the "Lucknow Times"-

"Politick-al Battles in IIM Lucknow. Hostel rep forced to abdicate"
16th August, 2002 (Lucknow). By Our Special IIML Correspondent

Independence Day brought a nasty surprise for Vikas, the Hostel Represemtative (HR) of Hostel 11 of the Indian Institute of Management, Lucknow. In a battle of politics, he was waylaid in a number game. Hostel 11 is one of the newest hostels of IIM Lucknow and it houses 90 students.

Some inhabitants of the hostel called for a special No-confidence motion and Vikas lost. The margin of his defeat was a thumping 34,561 votes against and 89 votes for. Vikas himself abstained from voting.

The winner and the new HR, Keetaknath Chavre, expressed delight at his victory and said "This again reaffirms our belief in the principles of democracy." Keetaknath Chavre is a brown tick who lives under the stairs of the right wing of the second floor. He and some other insects have been rallying for weeks against the one-sided approach by which HR's are chosen in IIM, a method obviously full of flaws. Only humans are informed of the elections and insects are kept out of the decision-making loop. Vikas was elected through this faulty method in July. Today finally, all insects residing in Hostel 11 got together with the humans and called for a special General Body Meeting. The voting was done by secret ballot and Chavre came out on top.

Speaking to the media in a Press Conference later, Chavre talked about his policy "We believe in co-existence of both humans and insects. My first step will be to remove the "insect killer" tubelight setup on each floor, and issue a blanket ban on all insect repellants. I also issue a blanket ban on blankets, which some humans use to cover their bodies, and make it difficult for us to drink their blood." The leeches, bedbugs and the ticks hailed this announcement.

The humans in the hostel looked in a despondent mood and were appearing willing to accept the situation. Vikas, however seems determined to fight his removal, "I will go to the Parliament if I have to, but I will get this wrong decision revoked."

All in all, this seems like a new brand of polyticks(sic!)

Thursday, August 15, 2002

We were trading some really corny jokes recently. Here's a real corny one.

A guy goes to a VCD store and asks for the VCD of "Dil Se". The shopkeeper nods, goes into a room and comes out, not with a VCD, but with a peacock. Why?

Because "Maango Dil Se, Milega more".

Old hats would have heard of it, but it's worth refreshing your memory.

By the way, going off on a complete tangent, what if you desire something a lot and the object of your desire asks you what you desire?


What does I-day mean to you all? It seems to be a magical day full of hope and anticipation for the great future to come. Call me gullible, call me naive, but I do believe India is going to be the perfect country, and we'll capture poverty very soon. However no one will come with a magic wand and do it. We need to do it.

For that to happen, we need to correct some of our past mistakes. Firstly, dump socialism, in all forms. The government has started privatising with a zest that is good, but also needs to be stepped up. Secondly, revamp the legal system. There are too many bottlenecks. Thirdly, we need to create laws to make the individual rights stronger. If someone issues a fatwa against Valentine's Day celebrations, the fatwa issuer should be more scared of its consequences than the young couples who wish to celebrate it.

We need to make changes. Towards change, towards prosperity!


Tuesday, August 13, 2002

Just got this idea from Sonal's blog.

Types a few verbs after my name and put it in google. The interesting results follow

"gaurav is"
Got 204 results.

1. Gaurav is all praise for the all-American crew
{ The only all-American crew I would be all praise for has to be made up of Alicia Silverstone alone.}

2. Gaurav is right!!!
{ so true!}

3. "Gaurav is the type of guy that will buy you a beer and leave his credit card at the bar for everyone."
{ Never tried that before.}

4. Gaurav is an active member in the comedy octet, The Other Guys.
{ Move over, Jerry Seinfeld.}

5. Gaurav is not taking a Pilot course this semester.
{ The reason is September 11 approaches!! Heehee, I am using a Pilot pen this semester though!}

6. Gaurav is a �Sangeet Visharad� in vocal Indian classical music.
{ You bet, I am. Actually, I am not. Bathroom singing is my revenge against the insects who infest it. }

7. Gaurav is one guy i can say anything to and he wont mind..he knows i just speak my mind
{ To quote fellow blogger Shailesh, "hmmmmmmmmm.."}

8. Gaurav is a bright, intelligent young man.
{Oh, pshaw!!}

9. Gaurav is adept in research and comes up with some little known facts about cricket.
{ Ask Ramanand.}

10. Nobody can be told who Gaurav is, you simply have to experience his blog for that.
{Google gave me this too!!!! So I clicked it and guess what? It from Suku's reply to the first message I had ever left on her blog.}

"gaurav wants"
I've always been a very wanting person. But got only 4 matches.

1. Gaurav wants to marry a rich woman and live in style all his life.
{ Someone does say Satyen and I are like Amar Prem from AAA}

2. Gaurav wants to be debating a tricky counterplan.
{ That does sound like fun}

3. Gaurav wants it badly.
{ No Comments!!}

4. I think what gaurav wants is OpenNMS!
{ That is so not what Gaurav wants!}

There is a seminar in our insti from tomorrow, and I've been selected to attend it. We had to go through a selection process for it. Had to write an essay on our favourite book. Since the seminar is about libertarian and objectivist ideas, everyone was writing about Ayn Rand's books. I wrote about "Animal Farm" by George Orwell which is a nice look at the pitfalls of communism.

The star attraction of the seminar will be S Anklesariya Aiyer, Consulting Editor for the Economic Times, and famous for his "Swaminomics" column in the Sunday Times of India. A little known fact is that he is the brother of Mani Shankar Aiyer, that idiot Congress leader, who has demonstrated his stupidity with exemplary fluency from time to time. Anklesariya however writes very well, and even the layman can understand his columns very well. It's almost as if Mani was adopted.

We have been given a lot of material to read for the seminar, so will have to make this post short.

It has started raining with a vengeance now, and the drought will probably tide over.

By the way, here's a quote I came up with today - "Rakhi is the subtlest and most sublime form of extortion". You thoughts ?

Sunday, August 11, 2002

Last night was the insti party. Was there till 3:30, and after that some of us decided to stay awake to watch the Lucknow sunrise. The sun rises here at 5:15, so we just walked around till then. We were in for a disappointment though as the sky was all cloudy, and we didn't actually see the sun.

I told this to Narendra, a classmate of mine, and he recounted a hilarious story which I share with you now, as he told me-

"I love watching the sunset in Bombay. When I was working in Bombay, I would leave my office in the evening, watch the sun set into the sea from Nariman Point, and then go home. It was like a part of my routine. When I went to Chennai to work, however, I rarely got time to do so. So one day I decided to watch the Chennai sunset. I took a friend and we headed to the beach late afternoon. We chatted about different things, as I waited for the sunset to happen. It started getting a bit dark, and I waited but no sign of the sunset. As we chatted some more, i couldn't understand why the sun wasn't even visible so late, and thought maybe there were clouds. Then as it got a bit more dark, something struck me and I looked back. The sky was looking orange like it does after a sunset. I had missed the sunset. The sun had set in the west, not on the east, where the sea was in Chennai."

Funny, right?

Thursday, August 08, 2002

No, that is not a typo for panacea

Here's an original statement and unknown saying - "Laughter is the best medicine".

Personally, I agree. Humour can cure even your worst ills. And if that is taken as an axiom, then this is how Dr. Gaurav's prescription will read-

1 weekly dose of "Andaz Apna Apna"

For the uninitiated, Andaz Apna Apna (AAA) is a movie realeased in 1994 starring Aamir Khan and Salman Khan, with a great double-role by Paresh Rawal. Ever seen one those movies in which every character seems like a masterpiece? This is one such movie. Even Shakti Kapoor seems good !!

The movie is a totally hilarious work of art, and if you understand hindi, you ought to see it at least 20 times. One friend of mine in Pune switched cable operators because the new operator used to show AAA every week!! If I lived in that neighbourhood I would have done the same. Each dialogue of the movie is loaded with chuckles.

Rajkumar Santoshi, the director, should probably try another comedy. All his other movies have been intense action movies. I think comedy is his niche. What is surprising though is that AAA was not that big a commercial as its popularity would indicate. This was probably because it was released in the same year as "Hum Aapke Hain Koun", which people wanted to see at least a dozen times in the cinema hall to be called good Indians. I think this dented AAA's box office collections. However, anyone I speak to, especially my generation has seen the movie multiple number of times, but on TV or VCD. It's somewhat like "Jaane Bhi Do Yaaro", which was a flop, but is still regarded by everyone as one of the all time greats, via VCD sales.

AAA is like a party everyone is invited to. A VCD of the movie would be an ideal borthday gift for anyone. Watching it with your friends and then rolling on the floor in splits, discussing it over a cup of coffee in a crowded restaurant, suddenly quoting dialogues with it to lighten the situation, so on and so forth. This is a movie that fully deserves the 1.4 GB of the hard disk on your computer that it will permanently occupy (erasing it is a sin!!). In fact assorted computer vendors should put "VCD of AAA" in their 'extras' list to boost sales.

I can keep talking about how great the movie is. So I'll stop with some of my favourite moments from the movie-

$ The climax when Amir Khan says "Sab log bandookein neeche rakh do", and Salman "Shyahh" and starts doing it himself, though it is through his gun that they have gained control.

$ "Teja Main hoon, mark yahan hain"...."Bhaad mein gaya mark yaar, Teja Main hoon".... (the whole teja sequence)

$ Salman's description of his encounter with Ramgopal Bajaj- "Unka ek ek sawal, mere do do jawab, ek ek sawal, do do jawab, sawal ek, jawab do, sawal jawab sawal jawab sawal jawab...chupppp.... lambee kahmoshi"

$ When Teja describes what he will do with the 3 billion rupees - "Main sudhar jaunga, murgiyon ka farm kholunga......" and ends it with "......hamara Bajaj"

$ When Karisma climbs on the sofa, and Amir keeps saying "Ek to naukrani hokar sofey pe chadhti hai..."

If you have seen that movie less than 5 times, go rectify your mistake. Oh yes...your favourite moments/dialogues from AAA???

Can't think of much to write today, so here's a quizzical question a la Sonal. Answer it without using google.

His friends say stop whining,
they've had enough of that.
His friends would say stop pining,
there's others girls to look at.

They've tried to set him up with Tiffany and Indigo,

The next line?

p.s - Satyen, don't even get started on that 0.5 chaat. did you get that 160 by the way?

Wednesday, August 07, 2002

By the way,, get your act together, dude!!


I don't like insects. Don't get me wrong, I am not judging without a first hand experience. In fact, I wasn't always a bug-hater. I held a fairly neutral view in this regard. But that was back in Pune. Like everything else about the city, the bugs in Pune are the best ones around.

As I was writing in a mail a few minutes back, Puneri bugs seem to have Mahatma Gandhi and Martin Luther King among their idols. These bugs may infest your bathroom, and jump out of unexpected corners of the closet, but they adhere to the policy of non-violence. In fact, I am darn sure that if you were to borrow the Constitution of the Pune Insects Society, the preamble would go something like - "We, the bugs of Pune...." blah blah blah, and I am sure somewhere they'll say "We believe in the principle of 'Live and let live' and vow to follow it". That's my kind of a bug. I've known so many cockroaches and insects over the years in Pune, but never have they bitten me. Of course there were mosquitoes, but then, that's how they live. NO insect has bitten me without a reason, and I, reciprocating the gesture in full measure don't recall having bitten any. There were some who would come exploring the innards of my ear when I was trying to sleep, and that would bug me a little, but that was it. All in all, peace prevailed.

Cut to July end 2002, when I moved to Lucknow. Here the bugs have no constitution as such. A post-Taliban-pre-Northern Alliance type anarchy prevails. I suspect they circulate videos that extoll the virtues of suicide missions though. The first day i came here, i was worried about mosquitoes. Now, 5 weeks here, and I am yet to encounter a single mosquito. They probably were eaten up by the insects here for a midday meal sometime back. In external appearance, they resemble the bugs back home. Black, brown, and an occasional blue-green thrown in. But their idols would feature Mohammad Atta, Yigal Amir, Dhanu (the woman who killed Rajeev Gandhi), and other Hall of Famers from the Suicide Mission Club. These insects just attack you!! They bite you all over, and they move on to newer areas. They attack in the night, they attack in the day!! They attack in every which way. I have more red marks on my body now than i did during my brief stint with measles (or was it chicken pox?). They will not leave anyone alone. I obviously squash them, not liking it one bit. The insti has got mesh gauze on our windows, but they can't make the room air tight can they? If the big ones don't make it, the tiny brigade crawls under the door. I tried stuffing newspapers under the door to block that route, but somehow they still get in.

Before you suggest me the obvious alternative, let me inform you that the Lucknowi bugs are in an advanced stage of evolution. You know what Darwin said about 'the survival of the fittest' etc? He had these little buggers (totally unintended pun!) in mind when he wrote that. Try Hit, Flit, Baygon, Zero Lines, everything. These bugs scoff, you can almost here them scoff at all the chemicals. They probably collect it, and save it for the winters when they'll want to stay indoors and want some beverage to accompany their pakodas. The gauze does not work either. Exterminators have long quit their trade in Lucknow and moved on to something more rewarding like looting banks.

The only way out is something I read in an Amar Chitra Katha comic once. There was this tiny guy, built on the lines of Tom-thumb, in Japan (now this was before the nuclear bomb, so no mutations, he was naturally tiny). He found life pretty tough, until one day the Emperor heard about him and hired him as his personal bodyguard....against insects!! So this guy would stand guard with his sword and kill every insects and bug that tried to disturb the Emperor. He looked so cute. I am willing to pay big bucks for such service. Any little fella perched on his keyborad/mouse reading this? You've got yourself a job. Even a thumbellina would do, lest I be charged with gender bias.

Now, I had better get back to studies and I shall probably stay up till late. And I won't be alone, there will be a dozen creep crawlies baying for my blood.

AUTHOR'S NOTE - The author would like to apologise in advance to any Bugs Rights Associations who might feel offended due to this post.

Sunday, August 04, 2002

How does the Amazing Gaurav squeeze time out for a post a day before his first mid-term in a business school? Full credit to the caring mess staff. It is thanks to them that i got an extra 15 minutes which i am utilising thus.

We had a tasteless boiled sabji and a wierd chana curry for dinner, prolly cos they didnt want us to spend too much time eating before our midterms. Dinner over in about 4 minutes, and back to something that seemed more tasteful - business law (that should give you an idea how bad the dinner was).

Okay, time to get back to studies.

Saturday, August 03, 2002

I finished watching Vanilla Sky today. Well, actually 'finished' is a relative term. I have no idea if the movie ends where it did on the .dat file on the network. Everything about the movie was so bizarre, that any point could have been a starting point or ending point. The last scene I saw had Tom Cruise poised on the terrace of a tall building poised to jump after talking to the LE guy. This is where the file ended. Could someone who's seen the movie tell me if anything happens after that?

The movie itself was engrossing. A cross between "The Truman Show" and "A Beautiful Mind", it seemed to me. If the movie ended where I saw it ended, okay, I can make sense out of it. But if something more happens, I'd like to know.

Going for a night lecture about "Foreign Exchange Transactions" now. From one bizarre thing to another.

Friday, August 02, 2002

Sometimes you see somethings that only you see, and they are so so funny. That just happened to me. As i was walking towards the cooler to get some water right now, a funny sight unfolded.

A guy wearing a loose and long kurta, was headed towards the gents toilet and a girl wearing a tight jeans was headed towards the ladies toilet. What made it funny was the silhouette-pictures on the doors of the toilets to indicate which is a girl's toilet and which is guy's.

The guy, with his kurta, resembled the silhouette on the girl's toilet door, and the girl with her jeans, resembled the guy's toilet door silhouette.

I find this very funny.

Maybe I need a "sense of humour" transplant. Willing to join me, Mads, maybe we could get a discount?

A bit about dinner tonite. Was served a scarlet yellow liquid with some pieces of a cheap brand of eraser today. Cook claims it was paneer (a type of cheese), but I have my doubts. Saved some pieces for my pencil errors.

We had thin circular flaps of white rubber. Cook claiming it was chapattis ( a type of bread, probably), but I have my doubts.

Overall, my attitude towards food is pretty elastic, wouldn't you say?

Quizzes and projects have kept me occupied for the last two days. But now, I stand before you, a free man................. for the day only. Midterms start Monday, and we'll get to know where we all really stand. So I'll be hitting the books now. But before that, a peek into the IIML lingo.

Each institute or college has its own mini-lexicon, and ours is no different. One word has started appearing in our daily usage very often now. It is a word that has been handed down to us by our seniors and while initially, it may seem a familiar word, do go deep into the explanation.

globe: (noun, verb, adjective, adverb) unnecessary and hollow rubbish spoken, which really does not signify much. Something that sounds very meaningful, but in reality is as solid as the horse that invaded Troy. A lot of hot air. In hindi, bakwaas. To quote Wodehouse, "It sounds nice, but means nothing".


Adjective - That "Men in Black - 2" is one globe movie, man.

Verb - I had no idea what the advantages of the Maslow theory were so I just globed something.

Noun - I think the most important learning you get out of MBA is globe.

Adverb - I blogged globely on 2nd August 2002.

Heehee, on that note, let us embrace globalisation