Vantage point

Thursday, August 29, 2002

How to shut up a guy trying to be extremely corny by coming up with a witty barb based on his corniness

I am the corny guy in question and the person who shut me up is Gautam Rajan, the guy who sits next to me in class. During a particularly boring lecture, I felt the urge to go to sleep. The method is simple. Just put your head in your arms on the desk and doze off. However, the whole class was awake and alert. Usually someone has fallen asleep so I can just follow the trend. But trend-setter I did not want to be, atleast in this case.

Me:(whispering) I want to sleep
GR: Then go to sleep.
Me: But no one else is sleeping.
GR: You can be the first one. A Pioneer.
Me: I am not a Pioneer. (suddenly remembering that there is a newspaper called "Pioneer" in Northern India and seeing an opportunity for a corny joke and pouncing on it. For that matter I am not a Times of India
GR: (keeps looking at the Professor without a hint of irritation at my corniness)
Me: (pushing my luck) I am not a Statesman, I am not an Indian Express, I am not a Hindustan Times....
GR: (giving me the smug look that a Guillotine Operator during the French Revolution probably gave the Noblemen he was going to execute) But you are a Hindu.

I shut my trap for the next few minutes, and then muttered "Good One". No more corniness till sundown