Vantage point

Thursday, February 06, 2003

Yesterday, my friend Tony told me a very interesting theory of his.

He said that if men were toys that women like, they can be divided into two broad types.

The first type is the "Teddy Bear" meaning these are the guys whom a woman feels very comfortable with, like with a teddy bear. They can further be divided into two more types.

The first type of the "Teddy Bear" (I forget the name he gave to this type) is one which a woman likes to keep around for convenience. These are the guys who have generally not been in female company since childhood, and when they finally experience it, they become quasi-servants. A woman knows that she can tell this Teddy Bear, "Please get me a cold drink from that shop two miles away on the beach" and he will do it. She will say "I have a headache today, can you do this assignment for me?" and this Teddy will do it. He is sweet, nice and good to have around you, but has no brains of his own. A woman can bend this teddy bear the way she likes.e.g - Subodh from Dil Chahta Hai or Maqsood and Ghanshyam from Jo Jeeta Wohi Sikander.

The second type of the "Teddy Bear" is the "A.I Teddy Bear". This is the teddy bear with intelligence. He does not get tongue tied while speaking to women, and can break the ice easily, but is not the suave, debonair flirt either. He has a good sense of humour and is generally aware of what is happening in the world and can understand a girl pretty well. She knows that she can't take him for granted. He will show chivalry, but upto a limit. He will open doors for her in a restaurant, but if she asks him to do her assignment, he will reply with a loud derisive laughter. He likes helping, but does not like being used. This is the A.I teddy bear, which talks and acts and is good company, but can not be bent according to a woman's will because of his intelligence. In real life, this teddy bear is always the "great friend" with whom the woman loves to talk to on a phone about any topic, without thinking much, because he generally "gets it". However she will cuddle this teddy in a completely asexual way, and at times complain to him about the final type of toy. e.g - Seinfeld from Seinfeld, Chandler from FRIENDS, Pete from "Two guys and a girl", Kamal Hasan in Saagar.

The final type of toy is the ***** (CENSORED). This toy is not worried much about the cuddle value nor about the intelligence. His usage of intelligence is limited to the opening line. He spends more time thinking about his appearance than about his career and spends more time debating which after-shave brand is better than debating on any political or economic issues. If this toy ever says to a woman, "You are looking gorgeous tonite", she will blush beetroot and mutter a barely audible thanks and talk about it later with her friends, maybe even the A.I Teddy Bear (if the AI Teddy Bear ever pays her the same compliment with even more earnestness, she will either punch him playfully and say an inert "thanks" as if he told her that there was a twig stuck in her hair which she had to brush off, or she will just ignore it as if he said it to some apparition behind it). e.g - Sameer in Dil Chahta Hai, Pavlov in FRIENDS, Kelso in That 70's Show.

Studies have shown that upto a certain age (about 28-30) women prefer the two types of teddy bears as friends and good/best friends respectively and the ***** types as boyfriends.

This theory is meeting with wholehearted approval from anyone Tony tells it to. =-)
So which toy are you?