Vantage point

Tuesday, July 23, 2002

Warning: Blogger suffering from acute case of writer's block

I sit here to write a post and realise that I have absolutely nothing concrete to put down. So much trouble for nothing!! What trouble, I hear concerned souls enquiring. Get some pop corn and get ready to read.

I have had to make a lot of positional changes to get this post across to you. I hope you appreciate all the trouble that I went through.

First i sat on this comp and started writing a mail, in my usual "head down and looking at the keyboard" posture. At the end of that mail, I discovered that the 's' key was acting pricey. It decided to appear randomly only in words in which it wanted to, and more often than not, it messed up the whole meaning. For example, I meant to type "I can be a good person", and it appeared "I can be a good peron", something that Madonna probably said some years ago. Till it was evoking Argentinian politicians, it was OK, but that was when the keyboard moved on to crass jokes. What i meant to say was "Her face looked shiney" and it came out, you guessed it, "Her face looked hiney".

So I decided that enough was enough. After having inflicted various multiple Newton (that's a unit of force I learnt about in school) punches on the 's' key to make the email more fit for human consumption, I logged off and moved to another comp.

Now this computer was the one closest to the telephone in the lab and it kept ringing every few minutes. I, being the guy nearest to it, had to pick it up and make announcements like "Any Sourabh here?" or "Does anyone from Hostel-5 have any idea why there is no water in the loo?". About a dozen phone calls later, I threw in the towel and logged off again and moved to the comp farthest from the phone. Here I was getting along fine, until I become, yet again, the target of one of the cruellest jokes kayboard manufacturers have inflicted on humanity at large. Does you keyboard have those "sleep" and "power" buttons? I mean what purpose could those two buttons possible have? Is it so difficult to access the Windows menu and shut the comp down or have it on standby? But some lazy bum with a chronic case of Carpel tunnel syndrome decided that he also wanted "Expert Sadist" on his resume and decided to introduce those buttons. As if that wasn't bad enough, he......I say 'he' but it could well be a 'she' considering the sheer lack of necessity of the button.... placed them right next to the 'delete' and 'end' buttons which are frequently used by people like me.

Anyway, you might have guessed what happened. I hit the 'sleep' button and the comp, metaphorically, changed into its pyjamas and slipped under a rug snoozing. That 'wake up' button is just a ruse, at least in our computers here. It is there for merely decorative purposes and is meant to drive you into a superlative level of frustration as you keep pounding on it in the hope that the light on the monitor will turn from orange to green.It does no such thing. I moved to the fourth computer in half an hour.

And it is from this computer that I now compose this post. As if by some divine intervention or poetic justice, the two deadly buttons on this keyboard are broken, Just two black stubs stare at me and I smile back at them benevolently, for now I can be uninhibited in my access of the 'delete' button.

All for what? Nothing!!

Writer's block refuses to leave me.

Got Jhumpa Lahiri's Pulltizer winning "Interpreter of Maladies" today. Will read it along with 40 pages of Management Accounting and 50 pages of Macroeconomics. Then again there are 70 pages of "Organisational Behaviour" to go through.

I really am a glutton for punishment aren't I?