Vantage point

Sunday, November 23, 2008

The Ultimate Christmas Movie?

A couple of months to go for Christmas and the airwaves are already infested with two painful concepts - reruns of old "classic" christmas movies, and trailer of upcoming christmas movies. That always leaves me surlier than the Grinch. Here's how a conversation in the house recently went -

Wife: We should watch some Christmas movies over the next few weeks.
Me: God, I hate Christmas movies
Wife: No you don't! I like 'em! You like 'em!
Me: Uh, No! I don't!
Wife: Yes, you do!
Me: Name one Christmas movie I've liked
Wife: (thinking a while) Santa Clause!! With Tim Allen from Home Improvement!
Me: No! No! I did not like that movie!
Wife: Ok....
Me: Yeah.... I hate Christmas movies!
Wife: How about..... Love Actually?
Me: Ok.... I found Love Actually kinda..... nice...ish... but that's not a Christmas movie!
Wife: Of course it is!
Me: No, it isn't!!!
Wife: Yes, it is!!!
Me: How is it a Christmas movie????
Wife: Most of it takes place on Christmas eve...
Me: So if a movie takes place on Christmas eve.... it's a Christmas movie?
Wife: Of course!!
Me: So... lemme get this straight.... a movie... happens on Christmas eve.... you think it's a Christmas movie? And we can watch it again and again next month?
Wife: Sure! Why?
Me: Oh, then you know what the best Christmas movie of all time is?
Wife: What? Santa Clause? Elf?
Me: Noooooooo.... the movie I have in mind takes place entirely.... from beginning to end.... on Christmas eve!
Wife:(looking unfortunately optimistic) Which?
Me: Die Hard!!!!!
Wife: What??????????????
Me: Yeah! Die Hard! It's a Christmas movie! We can watch it over and over in December! What do you say?
Wife: #$%&@(*#&(^^@^!###$%$!!!
Me" Yippee-ki-yay MF-er!!!!