Vantage point

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Open Letter to Chennai Super Kings

See update at the end

N. Srinivasan
K. Srikkanth
K. Wessels
M.S. Dhoni,
Chennai Super Kings

Dear Sirs,

It has come to my attention that one of your employees has referred to India quite condescendingly as a "third world country". This deeply offends me as an Indian.

India, as you know, is one of the fastest growing economies in the world, and is the 4th largest economy in terms of GDP (PPP). We have also placed a placed a spaceship in the lunar orbit. India's undeniably prime position in the world has also been attested to by one of the foremost thinkers of the modern and postmodern era - Mr. Thomas L. Friedman of The New York Times.

In light of all these achievements, I consider it a national insult that one of your employees would refer to India in such a derogatory manner. He has hurt our national pride, and his statement has jeopardised public order in our country. I hence humbly demand that you terminate the employment of the said employee with immediate effect. If my demands are not met, I will be forced to file a court case against you for aiding and abetting someone who attacked our nation's exalted greatness.

I hope to see a press releasing announcing the employee's termination in tomorrow's newspapers.

Yours Sincerely
Gaurav J. Sabnis

Update: You'd think that labelling Tom Friedman as one of the foremost thinkers of the "modern and postmodern era" would tip people off that this letter isn't what it might seem. But apparently not. I don't know whether to take it as a compliment or an insult, that a lot of folks took this letter seriously. Either I am not very good at writing satire, or am a little too good at it. I replied to all the emails I got, clarifying that I was far from serious. But this update is being prompted by the Chennai Super Kings Fan Site blog taking this post seriously. So for the record, the above letter is as flippant as can get.