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Sunday, November 26, 2006

The Church of Lady Inertia

More universally practised than Islam or Christianity is the religion of laziness which is governed by the Church of Lady Inertia. Here are some things you need to know about the religion -

- Inertia is the deity of laziness and she is omnipotent. She pervades every particle of creation, material and non-material. She occupies even thought processes and neural nodes.
- You pray to the Goddess Inertia by not doing anything. Make yourself comfortable and stay that way as long as you can. The longer you are lazy, the happier you make the goddess.
- The Lawbook of the Church of Inertia consists of 1 main law and several smaller bylaws.
- The 1 main law has been around since the beginning of time. But it was revealed by the Goddess to a certain Isaac Newton when he was praying to the Goddess under an apple tree. That law is also called Newton's First Law of Motion.
- Followers of the Church of Inertia do not believe in the Big Bang theory. The Big Bang would imply a lot of effort at the beginning and implying that the universe started because of effort would be blasphemous.
- Effort, hard work, toil are all bad words and any pious Lazyist must shun them. Anyone found to indulge in these blasphemous acts will incur the wrath of the Goddess.
- The original sinner according to the holy book of Inertia was Eve. She took the effort of picking the apple and offering it to Adam, thus spoiling a hitherto effort-free world. The Goddess Inertia would have punished her, but punishing someone requires effort so she did not do it to avoid breaking her own commands.

Come join the church. All you need to do is nothing for a long enough time to show your dedication to the Goddess.