Vantage point

Wednesday, October 30, 2002

Why do some people feel compelled to make movies? It is almost as if they are producing carbon dioxide, an action which they can't help performing. I don't know how useful the carbon dioxide we breathe out is, but the movies some people churn out are NOT useful at all!

I saw one such movie today. It was titled "American Desi". Now ever since Nagesh Kukunoor made a wonderful low key movie called "Hyderabad Blues" which achieved cult status, there have been many people trying to strike while the arclights are hot. AD was made by some students of Penn State University and man, does the movie suck! American Desi, at best can be described as "boring". It has no real storyline to speak of, and all the attempts at humour fall flat.

You know how some movies have the lead guy who is a real ass and invokes dislike from all quarters, but then during the course of the movie, he 'reforms', becomes a good guy, and the audience celebrates the return of the prodigal son? This movie tries something like that but the prodigal son never comes home.

It's basically the story of an Indian boy called Krishna ( 'please call me Kris') brought up in America who absolutely hates India and everything about it. When he goes to college, he gets stuck with Indian roomies, and also falls in love with an Indian girl. All through the movie, the dude keeps insulting India and Indians and still the girl keeps giving him chances. Finally he makes out with a middle aged American woman in front of the Indian girl. She pretends to be disgusted and storms off. So this guy decides that since he wants to win her, and probably get her into bed as well, he should learn Indian-ness which according to the makers of the movie, is dancing raas, garba, bhangda and playing cricket. Then he bashes up some villain-type character and lo! The girl forgives him and is entwined around him during the closing scenes.

There are movies you enjoy if you keep your brains aside and watch. I tried that, but this movie wasn't funny enough for that. So then the brain you have kept aside nudges you and wants to be let back into its cavity, and you pretty much have to let it in. Once it is back, it starts asking questions.

Like why does the girl put up with the guy's stupidity and arrogance?
Do his roommates not have any self respect that they too keep helping him while he keeps insulting them?
Why does the Indian called AJ speak like a Black (African-American to be politically correct)?
Who are the two guys who hang around the villain calling him "boss"?
If the TA wears woolen handgloves, how can he write on the board with a chalk?
Why is the statue of Ganpati at the Dandiya spouting out flowers through the snout?
Who made this movie?
Why was it made?

I told my brain to take it easy and concentrate on other functions like making sure all the metabolism is going fine.