Vantage point

Wednesday, January 10, 2007


Last week I watched Dhoom-2. Obviously, went in with zero expectations, and as the desi cliche goes, left my brains at home. Decided to just focus on the bizarre and the illogical and enjoy the movie by ridiculing it.

And the movie still traumatized me. And it was not just bad acting, bad story, irritating songs, amateurish dialogues, and Uday Chopra that drove me nuts. It was also the way that the movie treated the Law of Gravitation as mere Guidelines of Gravitation, which could be ignored whenever you want.

There are several dozen instances where gravity is blithely disregarded. And in only about half of these instances is there a logical explanation i.e. "push-up bras". The other half of instances, almost always involving Hrithik Roshan, tortured me, kept me awake at nights and scarred me. Even when I would fall asleep, I would wake up sweating and shouting "BUT SANJAY GADHVI, WHAT ABOUT THE SECOND LAW OF MOTION???"

Finally I learnt to deal with my scars. I had an epiphany. I have come up with a simple explanation to allow me restful nights. Dhoom-2 is a sequel of Dhoom. Of course it is. BUT BUT BUT... it is also a sequel of Krrish!!

It all falls into place. A or Aryan is Krrish. Which is why he can do everything he can without pissing on Newton's grave. Just think about it. Krrish looked like Hrithik Roshan. Aryan looks like Hrithik Roshan. Krrish danced well. Aryan dances well. Krrish had 6 fingers on his right hand. Aryan has 6 fingers on his right hand. Krrish had the hots for a Miss World who can't act. Aryan has the hots for a Miss World who can't act.

It all adds up. Not only does this epiphany allow me and many disturbed viewers like you infinite mental peace. It also gives Sanjay Gadhvi and Rakesh Roshan a chance to collaborate and come up with a movie that is a sequel to Krrish and a prequel to Dhoom-2 and explains exactly why pristine young Krishna took to a life of crime.

Errrm.... on seconds thoughts this epiphany might not be that good for our mental peace after all.