A Reader's Response
I still can't believe that I actually received the mail that I am reproducing below. I can't believe that such a person with such a warped way of thinking actually exists. I got the mail in response to this post I made last month. The sender of this mail - Prakash B ( email id - prakashcritic(ATTHERATE)hotmail(dot)com in case anyone wants to write to him directly) has commented on every portion of my post. Do read it. The most hilarious part is the one about "hot pants". :)
Dear Gaurav,
I was going through your comments on this issue. Please note my comments below IN CAPITALS:
Whenever the issue of harrassment of women/couples at the hands of either policemen or other elements of the society, both prudish and lecherous, is raised, one of the prominent arguments made is "she/they brought it upon themselves". THIS IS PURELY A BIASED NEWS, CAN YOU PROVIDE SOME PROOF OR IF YOU DO NOT HAVE PROOF, CAN YOU READ THE COMPLETE STORY AND COME BACK. DO NOT HIGHLIGHT ONE OR TWO STRAY INCIDENTS!
The main thrust of this argument is that men are by nature sexual predators, and in any situation are likely to lose control. This, it is deemed, is an act of nature, and as unavoidable as a dog barking. However, women's clothing and behaviour, is not dictated by nature. So they can control it. Hence the onus of preventing incidents of eve-teasing and molestation, somehow, lies primarily on the woman. If she walks alone down a street
wearing a mini-skirt, she is "asking for it". I THINK YOU ARE AN INDIAN. IN INDIA, WE ARE NOT USED TO SEEING WOMEN WEARING MINIS/MICROS FROM OUR CHILDHOOD. MAY BE YOU ARE BOUGHT UP IN A HIGH CLASS SOCIETY, WHERE THESE KINDS OF DRESSINGS ARE NORMAL. BUT BEFORE THAT, LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION? WHY DO YOU WEAR NEAT SHIRT, TROUSERS, SHOES? 60% OF THE REASON IS THAT YOU WANT SOMEBODY TO LOOK AT IT AND APPRECIATE IT. THERE ARE VERY FEW PEOPLE WHO DRESS FOR THEMSELVES! HENCE, A GIRL WALKING DOWN A STREET WEARING A MINI-SKIRT MEANS THAT SHE WANTS EVERYBODY TO SEE HER BODY EXCEPT THE PART WHICH IS COVERED BY THE MINI CLOTH (UP & DOWN). IF SHE IS LOOKED AT, IT IS HARASSMENT. COME ON, IT IS WE WHO ARGUE UNNESSARILY. THESE FEMALES, THEY WANT TO BE LOOKED AT, THAT IS EXACTLY WHY THEY WEAR THESE KINDS OF WESTERN
CLOTHES.
Many bloggers, mainly female, have written how insulting this argument is towards women. About how unfair it is that a woman be actually blamed for something being inflicted upon her. (THESE WOMEN WHO MOAN, ARE ALSO A PART OF IT, WHY CAN'T THEY APPROACH FEMALES WEARING SKIMPY DRESSES AND ADVISE THEM TO WEAR DECENT INDIAN DRESSES TO AVOID CONSEQUENCES. IN TURN, THEY WILL TALK BIG ABOUT HARASSMENT. NOBODY IS GOING TO CATCH HOLD OF A SCANTILY
CLAD FEMALE AND RAPE HER THEN AND THERE. MOST OF THEM LOOK AT HER AND SYMPATHISE HER HOW DESPARATELY SHE SEEKS ATTENTION TO HER BODY BY WEARING SUCH DRESSES. THAT'S ALL.
I raise a different issue. I say this argument is extremely insulting to men....at least a large number of men... who do not act as if imposing their lust on other women is a god-given right. I, am personally offended, that according to some people, my kind, i.e men, are supposed to act like animals wanting to hump the first thing in sight. As a man, I am offended at this warped logic which pulls down the rest of the population to the level of the most barbaric repugnant male. I DO NOT CARE WHAT FEMALES SAY, BECAUSE BASICALLY THEY ARE WRONG AND THEY ARE TRYING TO PROVE IT RIGHT BY ACCUSING MEN.
There have been several occasions when a pretty woman passing by has caught my eye. But not once in my life have I even remotely considered "molesting" or "eve-teasing" anyone. And trust me, it does not take Herculean Mahatma Gandhi or Jain Monk style self-control. It's not like I took classes in self control and hence can let a scantily clad babe pass me by without feeling her up. DO NOT PUT YOURSELF IN TOP SLOT. NOBODY MOLESTS OR EVE TEASES ANY
FEMALE ON THE ROAD. THERE MIGHT HAVE BEEN FEW INSTANCES ON THE ROAD. DO NOT BLAME THE ENTIRE MEN FOLK FOR THIS.
As silly as this statement might sound, it has to be made - It is easy to not molest a hot woman on the streets.
The fact that it is so easy makes it even more insulting that the so-called guardians of Indian culture say "It is natural for a man to get aroused and act rashly. The woman should dress decently to avoid it." To give a parallel, it's like saying.... see, animals urinate whenever they want, wherever they want. That is hence natural. So it's unreasonable to expect a human being to go to the bathroom. It's just unnatural. DO NOT GIVE USELESS
COMPARISONS.
Remember, when a woman walks down the street in a short skirt, and a man gets "aroused".... the arousal happens in the man's head and not the woman's. Hence the onus lies on the man to control it. When a couple is making out in public and a prudish old lady gets "offended", the offence happens in the lady's head and not the couple's. Hence the onus lies on the
woman to do something, maybe look elsewhere or go home. Sadly, most social commentators forget where the arousal or offence happens and blame the wrong people. WHEN A WOMAN WALKS DOWN THE STREET IN A SHORT SKIRT, SHE ALREADY HAS IN MIND THAT SOMEBODY SHOULD LAY HER DOWN. HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING INSIDE A FEMALE'S MIND. SO YOU MEAN TO SAY, IF WE SEE A FEMALE WITH A MINI SKIRT, JUST AVOID HER OR GO HOME. BULL SHIT. MAY BE ALL THESE SKIMPY OUTFITS, FILTHY DRESSES ARE COMMON IN SO CALLED HIGH SOCIETIES, BUT OUR COUNTRY HAS FEW FAMILIES WHO BELONG TO HIGH SOCIETIES.
It is easy for me and a vast number of men like me to not molest a woman because of upbringing. (YOU MEAN YOU WERE BOUGHT UP IN A FAMILY WITH LOT OF FAMILY MEMBERS WITH SCANTILY CLAD DRESS AND IT WAS NORMAL IN YOUR FAMILY, THAT IS WHAT YOU CALL A GOOD UPBRINGING!)
That does not mean my parents sat me down and said "If you see a hot babe in hot pants, don't pinch her butt". But I was taught, more implicitly than explicitly, to respect others. (YOU HAVE SAID IT, WHAT YOU MEAN BY HOT BABE (IF YOUR UPBRINGING IS VERY GOOD), WHAT YOU MEAN BY HOT PANTS, WHY DON'T U CALL THESE NORMAL BABES WITH NORMAL PANTS. IT MEANS DIRECTLY THAT SEXY BABE IN A SEXY PANT. WHAT YOU DO WITH HER !)
Respect does not mean falling prostrate at the feet of elders every time you see them. Respect does not mean paying lofty lip service to the role of women in society. Respect comes from within. And respect for another person is shown by letting that person choose to live life his/her own way. If you respect another person, you won't impose or intrude on the way they live their life. (GENERALLY INDIANS DO NOT RESPECT WOMEN WHO ARE ILL DRESSED, BECAUSE DRESSING SPEAKS A LOT ABOUT WOMEN. FOR EG., SEE ANY INDIAN MOVIE, HOW DO THEY PORTRAY A DANCER/ PROSTITUTE ON THE SCREEN.)
Dear Gaurav,
I was going through your comments on this issue. Please note my comments below IN CAPITALS:
Whenever the issue of harrassment of women/couples at the hands of either policemen or other elements of the society, both prudish and lecherous, is raised, one of the prominent arguments made is "she/they brought it upon themselves". THIS IS PURELY A BIASED NEWS, CAN YOU PROVIDE SOME PROOF OR IF YOU DO NOT HAVE PROOF, CAN YOU READ THE COMPLETE STORY AND COME BACK. DO NOT HIGHLIGHT ONE OR TWO STRAY INCIDENTS!
The main thrust of this argument is that men are by nature sexual predators, and in any situation are likely to lose control. This, it is deemed, is an act of nature, and as unavoidable as a dog barking. However, women's clothing and behaviour, is not dictated by nature. So they can control it. Hence the onus of preventing incidents of eve-teasing and molestation, somehow, lies primarily on the woman. If she walks alone down a street
wearing a mini-skirt, she is "asking for it". I THINK YOU ARE AN INDIAN. IN INDIA, WE ARE NOT USED TO SEEING WOMEN WEARING MINIS/MICROS FROM OUR CHILDHOOD. MAY BE YOU ARE BOUGHT UP IN A HIGH CLASS SOCIETY, WHERE THESE KINDS OF DRESSINGS ARE NORMAL. BUT BEFORE THAT, LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION? WHY DO YOU WEAR NEAT SHIRT, TROUSERS, SHOES? 60% OF THE REASON IS THAT YOU WANT SOMEBODY TO LOOK AT IT AND APPRECIATE IT. THERE ARE VERY FEW PEOPLE WHO DRESS FOR THEMSELVES! HENCE, A GIRL WALKING DOWN A STREET WEARING A MINI-SKIRT MEANS THAT SHE WANTS EVERYBODY TO SEE HER BODY EXCEPT THE PART WHICH IS COVERED BY THE MINI CLOTH (UP & DOWN). IF SHE IS LOOKED AT, IT IS HARASSMENT. COME ON, IT IS WE WHO ARGUE UNNESSARILY. THESE FEMALES, THEY WANT TO BE LOOKED AT, THAT IS EXACTLY WHY THEY WEAR THESE KINDS OF WESTERN
CLOTHES.
Many bloggers, mainly female, have written how insulting this argument is towards women. About how unfair it is that a woman be actually blamed for something being inflicted upon her. (THESE WOMEN WHO MOAN, ARE ALSO A PART OF IT, WHY CAN'T THEY APPROACH FEMALES WEARING SKIMPY DRESSES AND ADVISE THEM TO WEAR DECENT INDIAN DRESSES TO AVOID CONSEQUENCES. IN TURN, THEY WILL TALK BIG ABOUT HARASSMENT. NOBODY IS GOING TO CATCH HOLD OF A SCANTILY
CLAD FEMALE AND RAPE HER THEN AND THERE. MOST OF THEM LOOK AT HER AND SYMPATHISE HER HOW DESPARATELY SHE SEEKS ATTENTION TO HER BODY BY WEARING SUCH DRESSES. THAT'S ALL.
I raise a different issue. I say this argument is extremely insulting to men....at least a large number of men... who do not act as if imposing their lust on other women is a god-given right. I, am personally offended, that according to some people, my kind, i.e men, are supposed to act like animals wanting to hump the first thing in sight. As a man, I am offended at this warped logic which pulls down the rest of the population to the level of the most barbaric repugnant male. I DO NOT CARE WHAT FEMALES SAY, BECAUSE BASICALLY THEY ARE WRONG AND THEY ARE TRYING TO PROVE IT RIGHT BY ACCUSING MEN.
There have been several occasions when a pretty woman passing by has caught my eye. But not once in my life have I even remotely considered "molesting" or "eve-teasing" anyone. And trust me, it does not take Herculean Mahatma Gandhi or Jain Monk style self-control. It's not like I took classes in self control and hence can let a scantily clad babe pass me by without feeling her up. DO NOT PUT YOURSELF IN TOP SLOT. NOBODY MOLESTS OR EVE TEASES ANY
FEMALE ON THE ROAD. THERE MIGHT HAVE BEEN FEW INSTANCES ON THE ROAD. DO NOT BLAME THE ENTIRE MEN FOLK FOR THIS.
As silly as this statement might sound, it has to be made - It is easy to not molest a hot woman on the streets.
The fact that it is so easy makes it even more insulting that the so-called guardians of Indian culture say "It is natural for a man to get aroused and act rashly. The woman should dress decently to avoid it." To give a parallel, it's like saying.... see, animals urinate whenever they want, wherever they want. That is hence natural. So it's unreasonable to expect a human being to go to the bathroom. It's just unnatural. DO NOT GIVE USELESS
COMPARISONS.
Remember, when a woman walks down the street in a short skirt, and a man gets "aroused".... the arousal happens in the man's head and not the woman's. Hence the onus lies on the man to control it. When a couple is making out in public and a prudish old lady gets "offended", the offence happens in the lady's head and not the couple's. Hence the onus lies on the
woman to do something, maybe look elsewhere or go home. Sadly, most social commentators forget where the arousal or offence happens and blame the wrong people. WHEN A WOMAN WALKS DOWN THE STREET IN A SHORT SKIRT, SHE ALREADY HAS IN MIND THAT SOMEBODY SHOULD LAY HER DOWN. HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING INSIDE A FEMALE'S MIND. SO YOU MEAN TO SAY, IF WE SEE A FEMALE WITH A MINI SKIRT, JUST AVOID HER OR GO HOME. BULL SHIT. MAY BE ALL THESE SKIMPY OUTFITS, FILTHY DRESSES ARE COMMON IN SO CALLED HIGH SOCIETIES, BUT OUR COUNTRY HAS FEW FAMILIES WHO BELONG TO HIGH SOCIETIES.
It is easy for me and a vast number of men like me to not molest a woman because of upbringing. (YOU MEAN YOU WERE BOUGHT UP IN A FAMILY WITH LOT OF FAMILY MEMBERS WITH SCANTILY CLAD DRESS AND IT WAS NORMAL IN YOUR FAMILY, THAT IS WHAT YOU CALL A GOOD UPBRINGING!)
That does not mean my parents sat me down and said "If you see a hot babe in hot pants, don't pinch her butt". But I was taught, more implicitly than explicitly, to respect others. (YOU HAVE SAID IT, WHAT YOU MEAN BY HOT BABE (IF YOUR UPBRINGING IS VERY GOOD), WHAT YOU MEAN BY HOT PANTS, WHY DON'T U CALL THESE NORMAL BABES WITH NORMAL PANTS. IT MEANS DIRECTLY THAT SEXY BABE IN A SEXY PANT. WHAT YOU DO WITH HER !)
Respect does not mean falling prostrate at the feet of elders every time you see them. Respect does not mean paying lofty lip service to the role of women in society. Respect comes from within. And respect for another person is shown by letting that person choose to live life his/her own way. If you respect another person, you won't impose or intrude on the way they live their life. (GENERALLY INDIANS DO NOT RESPECT WOMEN WHO ARE ILL DRESSED, BECAUSE DRESSING SPEAKS A LOT ABOUT WOMEN. FOR EG., SEE ANY INDIAN MOVIE, HOW DO THEY PORTRAY A DANCER/ PROSTITUTE ON THE SCREEN.)
