Vantage point

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Ford Exploder

George just directed me to this news item -

Bill Gates Envisions Cars that Can't Crash

It's a real news report people, not a SomeAchaar or Onion. Microsoft and Ford are working together on cars that won't crash. Now before you come up with your own wisecracks visit this slashdot page and read all that have already been used up.

Here are some of my favourite ones -

* Milliseconds before impact, the entire windshields and all the windows go blue.

* After making a second consecutive right turn, Clippy appears. "It seems like you're turning. Would you like help about this topic?" You say no.

AutoFormat kicks in, causing your car to automatically turn right at every intersection. You manage to get rid of that, but now every time you try to turn left the steering wheel is AutoCorrect'ed to the right.

You finally just let the car drive you wherever while you listen to MSN radio. You don't get where you wanted to go, but at least you didn't crash.

* Officer: Can I see your software license and registration please?

* Driver calling tech support...

Driver: I need some help, my car won't start.
Tech Support: sounds like a driver problem.
Driver: Hey, fsck you!!! I know how to start the damn car!
Tech Support: No sir, I mean the driver for Windows.
Driver: Oh, ok, sorry. Yeah, my kid is always screwing the damn windows. Up and down, up and down. I'll let you talk to him.
Tech Support: Thank you sir, that would be easier for all of us.

* microsoft...

can't crash...

must... make... joke... before head explodes...