Vantage point

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

The Most Irritating People Awards

Here is my list of the most irritating people in the world, divided into neat categories.

Most Irritating Female, Indian - Kareena Kapoor
Can't act, can't sing (aankhon hi aankhon mein, baaton hi baaton mein tooney churaya jee-YUCK), makes stupid faces very stupidly, makes normal faces very stupidly too, and contrary to the prevalent belief among Bollywood actors, does not even have a cute butt.

Most Irritating Male, Indian - Shahid Kapoor
His utter lack of acting skills shows that the genes of both Pankaj Kapoor and Neelima Azim refused to have anything to do with him. Moves as if there's a cockroach stuck in his underwear that he is chasing out by sheer willpower.

Most Irritating Cricketer - Justin Langer
Seems boring even when scoring at run-a-ball, makes a face even if he is clean bowled, and has a smile that was stolen from a circus frog.

Most Irritating F1 Driver - Juan Pablo Montoya
The Langer of F1, but without even 5% of equivalent success. Bad at handling a car, bad at taking risks, and the only thing he motors powerfully is his mouth.

Most Irritating Hollywood Star, Female - Kirsten Dunst
Looks like the result of a disastrous genetic experiment combining an ugly Persian cat with a 10 year old boy.

Most Irritating Hollywood Star, Male - Ben Affleck
I don't like his face, I don't like his acting, and I don't approve of his taste in women.

Most Irritating Media Personality, Male - Prabhu Chawla
Looks and talks like a slimeball from an Abbas-Mustan production.

Most Irritating Media Personality, Female - Christiane Amanpour
Sanctimonious to the T, talks like she has a 20-years-old chewing gum stuck to the back of her tongue, and is not even easy on the eye.