Vantage point

Friday, September 08, 2006

The Cheese Ambush

Many Americans think Al Qaida is their biggest enemy. Some are scared of Iran. Others fear North Korea is up to something. And of course there's the looming clash with China in the economic domain. So distracted are Americans by all these foes that they have been ignoring the real danger to their well-being. Cheese!!

Cheese has infiltrated this country like only cheese can. And it is gnawing at its innards. The sheer influence and its spread (hehe...spread!) boggles the mind. Seriously, my utmost efforts in the last couple of weeks have been directed towards fighting off cheese ambushes. Its everywhere. In sandiwches, burgers, hot dogs, pizzas, subs, and even mexican food. Burritos, doritos, fajitas, ranjitas, babitas and madhubalas.... everything is full of cheese.

I am so used to saying "no cheese please" whenever I order anything that I even said it to a guy giving me some fruit salad. And he didn't look at me incredulously, thus proving comprehensively that fruit salad with cheese on top is one of his most common orders.

Cheese, having already made deep inroads into the American heart(!)land is now looking to consolidate its position. Extra cheese. Cheese in cereal. Cheese in muchies. Cheese in crust. Cheese in breads...

Mark my words. The day isn't far when you see blocks of cheese airdropping on the white house lawns and taking over the country. When they build a new skyscraper to replace the WTC in New York, a huge chunk of cheese is going to crash into it. And I am sure unsuspecting Hawaiians will have to face a sneaky cheese attack.