Vantage point

Monday, June 12, 2006

The Daily SomeAchaar - Kashmir Ejected From AAM

Kashmir has been excluded from the famous international body "And Afters Movement" according to a press release.

The 'And Afters Movement' is an umbrella organisation of provinces which say they get the short end of the stick because their name comes after an "and" in their country's or province's name. The movement includes provinces like Tobago, Montenegro, Barbuda, Nicobar, Nagar Haveli, and many others.

The organisation's charter says that provinces whose names come after the "and" suffer because of neglect. They are neglected by their own governments, by international organisations, and by sports bodies. The organisation demands that the order of the names should be switched every 25 years to ensure fairness and equality.

The organisation has funded several studies which show that the development, standard of living, and public health is less than 25% in the "and after" provinces, as opposed to what they call the "headlining provinces".

AAM has been lobbying heavily in Germany to influence the three-letter short forms of countries displayed on the screen during the World Cup 06 matches. Their demands to denote Trinidad & Tobago as "TNT" instead of "TRI" were refused after AOL Time Warner threatened to sue FIFA for copyright violations. Their demands to denote Serbia and Montenegro as "S&M" were rejected on the grounds that children watching the match might get exposed to ideas beyond their pale.

AAM has had only one notable success in 15 years of its existence. Its hectic lobbying got the writers of the TV show Seinfeld to make last minute changes to its episode 'The Hot Tub'. The marathon runner Jean-Paul, who hails from trinidad & Tobago was referred to as a "Trinidadian and Tobagan" instead of just "Tinidadian" as the show originally intended.

Kashmir has been kicked out of the body after hectic campaigning by the province of 'Jammu' which said that even though the name 'Kashmir' appeared after an 'and', it still gets the benefits enjoyed by headlining provinces. People from the state are referred to as Kashmiri, and Kashmir gets a bulk of the funding allocations.