Short Story: Liberty Hospice Care Center

Dr. Emma Wells, Director of Liberty Hospice Care Center, the country's top non-profit and donations-funded hospice provider for the needy, was excited to hear about Jed, a Silicon Valley billionaire visiting the facility. Although she was proud of the help they provided to the needy in their final moments, the influx of those in need was higher than ever before. She hoped a big check from the billionaire could help keep them going.

Jed was given a detailed tour of the Hospice center, and he seemed engaged and curious as he interacted with the patients and families and staff. Emma was feeling optimistic.

"Dr. Wells, you do great work here." Jed walked into her office after the tour. "But before we discuss any donations, I had a few questions if you don't mind."

"Absolutely! Fire away!" Emma was prepared. She had been told how these young Silicon Valley types are all about the data and acting like venture capitalists even in their philanthropy.

Jed sat back and got a solemn expression on his face. 

"Dr. Wells, in interacting with the patients or their families, I noticed that a large number of them were cancer patients."

"That is true." Most of their patients were terminal cancer patients from families who couldn't afford private hospice.

"My question is, what are you doing about this cancer problem among your patients." Jed sat back and stared at Emma with a piercing gaze.

"Excuse me?" She wasn't sure she understood the question. 

"I looked into the data you sent and I noticed that Liberty Hospice Care always seems to have a lot of cancer patients! And that number is growing in recent years! It looks to me like you have a cancer problem! Before I cut you a check, I want to know what steps you're taking about the cancer problem."

Emma took a few seconds to gather her thoughts. 

"Well, there are partnerships with cancer research hospitals who.."

"Not hospitals!" Jed sat up and interrupted. "What are you and Liberty doing to solve this high number of cancer patients in your facilities? Don't you see it's a real bummer having all these cancer patients dying around you? One minute I'm watching a funny TikTok and next minute I'm face to face with cancer. That is not cool! What are you doing about it?"

"Sir, we don't cause this illness. We just give the best care possible to those afllicted with it! That's why they come to us in big numbers!" 

Jed sat back and scoffed. 

"This is exactly what the people at Golden Gate Hospice Care told me too. Which has also seen a rise in cancer patients in recent years. Especially after the pandemic. It's a real bummer there too. You're driving your Cybertruck on a nice day to the French Laundry and then suddenly cancer patients. Be it you Liberty people or those Golden Gate people, you seem to have a real cancer patient problem that you refuse to do anything about!"

"Refuse to do anything about? I know people at Golden Gate! They do their best too! Liberty and Golden Gate provide more hospice care to needy cancer patients than anywhere else. And you say we refuse to do anything about it?"

"But Dr. Wells, that is just reactive strategy. You can't deny the data that there is an increase in cancer patients to your facilities. Nor can you deny that seeing cancer patients is a real bummer to the rest of us."

"I can very much deny that second statement! I don't find cancer patients a bummer to have around me."

"Oh you're one of those woke people! Next you'll tell me cancer patients don't affect property values either. But let's leave that aside. My question is, what can we do to fix this cancer patient problem in your Hospice Care? Can we at least dream of a day when there won't be a single cancer patient in your hospice center?"

"We can dream of that, but that requires a country wide planet wide effort to eradicate cancer on multiple levels."

"No, YOU have to do something about it. Or you won't get my money." Jed insisted. "How about beds that make cancer patients uncomfortable? That way cancer patients will self select out of coming to your hospice."

"You want us to actively make our services unfriendly to cancer patients so that we get fewer cancer patients?" Emma asked horrified.

"Exactly! Dr. Wells, now you're getting the real Silicon Valley genius for free! Make your services unfriendly to those we think are a bummer."

"But then where else will they go if not Liberty or Golden Gate?"

"I don't understand the question."

Jed really didn't. 

The End