Daily SomeAchaar - China and India complain US Stealing their thunder in Civil Rights abuse

Washington (D.C) - The ambassadors of China and India today delivered a demarche to the United States government, taking strong exception to their thunder being stolen. Both countries complained that the recent arrest of a student of Chinese origin in Illinois for writing a violent essay does nothing but belittle similar moves by the two countries.

An Indian court recently issued an arrest warrant for actor Richard Gere for kissing an actress with her consent. While non-consensual public displays of affection are the norm in India, those with consent are frowned upon. Just as every media outlet in the world was showering India with attention for issuing an arrest warrant for a trivial consensual display of affection, the Cary police went ahead an arrested Lee. The Indian ambassador demanded that the United Nations interveme and set guidelines ensuring that an interval of at least one week should be allowed to pass before taking actions that clamp down on civil rights. This will ensure equal attention for all countries in today's globalized media.

The Chinese ambassador asserted that arresting Chinese people for writing something is an act patented by the Chinese government, and the prevailing international agreement on intellectual property rights mandates that the Cary police acknowledge the Chinese government as an inspiration.

The (Relatively) Ignored Legends

Before this World Cup, the most asked question was, will either of the two legends of our times, Sachin Tendulkar and Brian Lara, finally be able to win a World Cup for their sides? Those two captured imaginations like few ever have, and it seemed almost tragic that neither of them would.

In all this excessive attention on those two, people forgot two more legends of our time who will undoubtedly be remembered for generations to come. And those two legends finally extracted their pounds of flesh from the World Cup.

Gilchrist and McGrath have been parts of the previous two wins. But 1999 was all about Waugh and Warne. While Ponting dominated the 2003 World Cup final. But McGrath and Gilchrist, two more once-in-a-lifetime legends who so influentially won so many victories had never really been associated with World Cup wins.

Gilchrist decided to have his slice of the legend pie, and how! 149 off 104 is special even in a normal match. In a World Cup final in a truncated match, against a quality bowling attack, it is downright historical. It wasn't just the strike rate, but the audacious mastery which we have come to associate with him that took my breath away. Sure, he is not as consistent now as he once was. But in terms of really battering oppositions, and that too when it counts towards the result (sorry, Lara), few come close.

Then there was Glenn McGrath, dismissed as a relic after he announced his test retirement. After he was smashed around the park effortlessly by the Poms and the Kiwis in the run-up to the World Cup, not only did people say that he should have retired completely, but also brought up the point that he had never been as much of a danger in the shorter version of the game as he had in tests. He responded by picking up 26 wickets, the highest by any bowler in a single World Cup.

Yes, it is tragic that Lara and Tendulkar will retire without ever having won the big one for their sides. But Gilchrist and McGrath retiring without truly owning a World Cup, not just being one of the team, would have been tragic as well. Thankfully, that tragedy was averted.

For now let us just congratulate the Aussies, and shake our head at the stat that by 2011, that team will have gone 12 years without losing a single World Cup match.

He Still Da Man

After the Virginia Tech massacre, American news channels were stupid, shallow, knee-jerk and moronic.... even by their own standards. I was aghast at how absurd they were being and who better nail this absurdity than..



Seriously, American media is in big big trouble when the sanest and most reasonable opinion, even on an event as tragic as this, comes from a comedy show.

Colbert, Mail The Cheque!

Now I have great respect for Stephen Colbert, a patriotic American who tells it like it is. This last bastion of conservatism is inspirational in the rage he manages to summon 4 nights a week. His passion for truthiness has opened by eyes to the superiority of the Judeo-Christian values.

Which is why I was saddened to see him put forth an idea that I had three months back, and not send me the royalty cheque for the same. I refer of course to the idea of making illegal immigrants fight the war in Iraq.



Listen Colbert. I am a large hearted guy, and with my nefound zeal for judeo-christian values, I will forgive you for what many might call plagiarism. All I ask in exchange is that you send me the advertising revenues for your show on April 25th. If not, I will have no option but to put you on the "call out" board.

The Business of Blasphemy

Do you have a soul you're not using? That is what this website asks. The Blasphemy Challenge is asking people to deny the existence of the holy spirit, because apparently it is an unforgivable sin. If you do so in a video and post it on youtube, they will send you a DVD. In response of course, someone set up this site to save all those souls.

Now I am an atheist. But I would not denounce the holy spirit. Shocked? Actually I have a very simple reasoning for not wishing to denounce the holy spirit, that Dan Brown will be proud of.

Everyone knows hinduism is older than christianity, right? And one of our main festivals is holi. And what is an integral part of holi? Drinking bhaang. And what is bhaang made of? Cannabis. Thus cannabis can be appropriately called the holi spirit.

Now when the bible says do not blaspheme against the holy spirit, it actually means do not blaspheme against cannabis. Do not ban it. In fact surrender to it. So all these christian right wingers should actually be asking the government to lift the ban on marijuana. Because a ban on marijuana is equivalent to blaspheming against the holy spirit.

Addictive Music

And the visuals aren't bad either. Kudos RR.

Agreeing With O'Reilly

Who would have thought that I would agree with Bill O'Reilly about something? When you find yourself agreeing with O'Reilly, you have either started mutating or then the people he is criticizing are doing something really bad.

Yesterday O'Reilly showed clips of the protests on the streets of India about the Gere-Shetty kiss and said "Some people in India... maybe have too much time on thier hands". What can one do but agree?

Acceding A Request

Young Nilu mails in a plea -

My University was a weapon-free campus. I am sure VT was/is too. Someone please point this to all those want more gun control.

Haven't you seen this drama enough number of times? Some will ask for gun control. Others will say if victims had guns, the toll would have been lower and ask for gun un-control laws. Charlton Heston will dodder along with the NRA and growl. Blacksburg residents will wonder how to make his people go. Michael Moore will make a sequel called "Howling for Hokies" and try to flirt with Heston again. Shivsena will demand that Virginia Tech be renamed Chhatrapati Shivaji Tech. And before you know it the media will be discussing who gets custody of Anna Nicole Smith's pet beaver. Cynicism is very seductive.

The campus seemed very sombre today. The business undergrads in the building, usually cackling all around, were quieter. Maybe it was sympathy for the victims, maybe it was a chilling realization... that it could so easily have happened here. Some were talking of the Amish school shootings in Pennsylvania last year. Others recalled the 1996 incident at the HUB in Penn State, one of the rare, if not the only incident of a campus shooting by a gunwoman. And the desis were talking about Prof. Loganathan and Minal Panchal, the two Indian victims in the VT massacre.

It's The Currency's Fault

Is it just me or does anyone else who sees Democrat leaders and media persons get all self-righteous and angry asking the Republicans, "Why did you make the mistake of going into Iraq?" feel like smashing the television? Seriously, don't they know the answer to the question which would be obvious to even a 5 years old? In case they don't, let me help out. Republicans went into Iraq because you people in the Democratic party, CNN, NBC, ABC, everywhere supported the decision. An idiotic decision. 70% Americans were in favour of it. Hillary Clinton and John Edwards voted for it.

And in case their answer is "Oh, but the President misled us/lied to us", sorry, but that just doesn't cut it. Especially when all the people who are in charge, in government as well as in the media, belong to the generation that suffered in Vietnam. And yet, you got suckered again. Let me point you to George Bush's cover version of the proverb you should keep in mind. So no point in acting as if it is all the Republicans' fault.

And what is with the whole consensus on getting the troops back home? Letting the Iraqis take care of themselves? Seriously, the Bush administration has been wrong on almost every count so far. And now for a change, they are saying the right thing, i.e. once you have gone in and created a mess there, leaving and creating a vacuum for all sorts of America-hater nutjobs to come in and take control? Have you forgotten the following chain of events - America goes into Afghanistan to counter the Russian invasion -> Russians go home -> Americans go home -> Chaos ensues -> America haters take control -> Bin Laden arrives -> Executes 9/11 from there.

All these repeated screw-ups and not learning from past mistakes are probably the result of the motto on their currency - "In God We Trust". They trust in god so much that they just keep their fingers crossed and hope everything will be alright. I propose the Americans put a new motto on their currency - "Fool me once..."

Paul and Wolfowitz, Paul Wolfowitz

It's time for scandal bingo again. This is the game where you all have cards with current or past members of the bush staff, and every time a new one gets involved ina scandal, you cross that name. This month's pick - Paul Wolfowitz!

This game is sponsored by all the franchising outlets of Scandals R US

Stupid Democrats!

After John Edwards and Hillary Clinton, even Barack Obama decided to pull out of a debate being sponsored by Fox News. How stupid can these Democrats get? Non-Americans often wonder how is it that someone like George Bush managed to win two terms. How the Republicans managed to control all arms of the government for so long. And most of the answer is right here. Because Democrats are just way stupider. And for them to win elections, Republicans don't just have to be plain normal bad and incompetent. Republicans have to be really far out wrong, idiotic and complete failures. In other words, Democrats can win elections only if they are handed those elections on a golden platter like the 2006 midterm elections.

Is Fox News conservative, biased and a right wing propaganda machine? Of course it is. Which is the precise reason why any competitor with any amount of fortitude would go on their territory and kick their ass. It's the same reason why an away victory is much more significant in sports than a home victory. If you think you are right, and have everything figured out enough to be the President, you will appear on any show. If you don't you are no better than Bush who, at a tough time before the November elections, appeared only on Bill O'reilly's show where he was served softball questions.

Besides, Fox News has massive ratings. Sure, its viewers are mostly conservative. But it does not mean that none of them can be swayed. A significant number of their viewers are probably just right-of-center, and tired of the Republicans' incompetence, could change their mind. Why else have the approval ratings for a president who won the popular vote dropped to 30%? By refusing to appear on Fox News you are just strengthening the opinion that there really are two Americas, irrevocably divided. Have these people forgotten that a person as polarising and extreme as Ronald Reagan won 49 out of 50 states in his 1984 re-election? You think he did it by just faing friendly crowds?

Why go as far back as Reagan? Look at Bill Clinton. He had the balls to go on Chris Wallace's show on Fox News for an interview, knowing fully well that Matthews will ask him partisan and loaded questions. And Clinton responded passionately, and with substance in his arguments, and really, in the eyes of any fair observer, soundly whipped Chris Wallace. Even the most rabid conservative who saw that interview must have paused and thought at least for a moment, "Hey, Bill Clinton probably did do a lot to fight Laden and 9/11 was really caused mainly by Bush's incompetence".

Edwards, Clinton and Obama have all proven to be rather yellow by turning down Fox, and missed out on a great opportunity to sway many of the fence-sitters. And if this were a stock market, I would sell the Democrat shares and buy Republican heavily.

A Chat With A Friend

Him: you liked Grindhouse?????
Me: loved it, dude
Him: i hated it!!
Me: why? it was so amazing?
Him: too gory, especialy planet terror
Me: that's a flimsy reason
Him: hey come on.... it was revoltingly gory
Me: i've never disliked a movie on those grounds. you know the only movie i hated because it had too much gore?
Him: which?
Me: an inconvenient truth :P
Him: eh? ohhhh...... you need to die very soon for inflicting that on me

Where art thou, theothernilu?

I write this post partly because I am belatedly holding up my end of a deal. I had challenged theothernilu to write an erotic post about that August individual Dwayne Leverock. She said she would, but in exchange I had to write a post about her. She held up her end of the bargain a month back. I dilly-dallied. But hey, I dilly-dally a lot. I still haven't posted the answers to the quiz or the second half of Sakharam Gatne. Anywhich, better late than never. But as I said earlier (sorry, Deirdre/Donald McClosky), holding up my end of the deal is only part of the reason.

I write this because theothernilu has not written too much on RH recently. Which means that any writing which can be construed as being erotica is left solely in the hands of Nilu. And then we end up getting drivel like this - She was wet. Entering her required a lot of effort. I closed my eyes. Now I have no problems with under-sexed quasi-virgins. Some of my best friends are under-sexed quasi-virgins. But if you want to be a u-s q-v and still write erotica, you better have some kick-ass imagination. Graeme Smith and Sachin Tendulkar are both essentially batsmen who do not practice bowling in the nets. Yet, when Tendulkar bowls, he frequently produces something magical because of his imagination and creativity. Smith's bowling is so pathetic, I suspect the only reason he bowls is to show the world that captaincy isn't the thing he does worst.

When Nilu writes about sex, it invokes so much pity, that all his readers will readily contribute to the "Send Nilu To Amsterdam For Some Paid Sex Fund" just so that he gets a fucking clue about the subject.

Theothernilu however is an artist. She has imagination, she has creativity, and she can weave erotica literally out of anything. Even in her shortest posts, there is a story of delicious richness. Her erotica has as many tiny nuances as good sex. And she has been missing from RH for a while.

Where art thou, TON? Come back, for fuck's sake!

Grindhouse Review

Grindhouse, for the lack of an appropriate phrase to describe it completely, kicks ass, splits that ass open, parades the entrails around with a swagger, and then steps over those entrails with endearing sadism. Tarantino and Rodriguez's tribute to the exploitation genre is hilarious right from the word go. And each and every one of the tiny tributelets, from the fake previews... or should I say prevues.. to the missing reels to the campy ad for tex-mex cuisine hit the mark.

I agree with my girlfriend that Death Proof, the slasher feature directed by Tarantino, is better (incidentally the only two movies she and I have seen together so far are 300 and Grind House.... I guess in some relationships, a movie just has to spill a cargo-ship-full of blood for it to be romantic). The plotline is tauter, the performances are more powerful, and there is just something so intensely erotic about hot women ruthlessly wreaking vengeance on a certified asshole. If you loved what Beatrix Kiddo did to Buck in Kill Bill, then you will cheer deliriously as Zoe Bell, Rosario Dawson and (forget the third woman's name) pound mercilessly into Kurt Russell's car.

But the Rodriguez-directed zombie segment Planet Terror, though slightly weaker, is at the heart of the exploitation tribute. Very few films manage to be this grotesque and this hilarious at the same time. Be warned, this segment is not for the weak-stomached. The blood, gore, rotting flesh, and sadism makes Kill Bill Vol 1 look like The Sound of Music. If you thought stepping on an eyeball was gross, you should avoid Naveen Andrews step on a pair of severed testicles.

The faux trailers are classics in their own right, among other things featuring Nicholas Cage as Fu Manchu in "Werewolf Women of the SS". My favorite was the trailer "Don't". Embedding it here from youtube.



Grindhouse is probably the niche-iest of all Tarantino and Rodriguez movies, and I wouldn't bet on it being a commercial success. But if you belong to that niche, like me, then you have to watch it in theatre a few times, buy its eclectic soundtrack, and then buy the director's cut DVD when it comes out. This one's a keeper.

A Hearty Recommendation

I take a break from what has been the busiest weekend yet for me in the PhD program to recommend to you all a very under-rated, ill-fated and brilliant TV series. The next time you are buying DVDs to gift someone (or yourself), buy any or all seasons of Arrested Development. There were just two and three quarters seasons though. FOX, the channel where it aired, cancelled the show in its third season last year.

The reason why the show did not take off is the very reason that makes it so special. It is probably the most un-American sitcom ever. Shot like a documentary, with no laugh-tracks or snappy 2-second-jokes, it is a multi-layered comedy with so many in-jokes, pop-culture references and situations steeped with political satire, that each episode has to be viewed multiple times to really "get" it. If you think American entertainment is being dumbed down, cancellation of the show confirms your biggest suspicions.

The basic premise of the show is simple, and it is repeated by its uncredited narrator (Ron Howard) at the start of every episode - it is the story of a rich family which lost everything and a son who had no choice but to keep them all together. The star-cast has to be the best since Seinfeld - Jason Bateman, Jeffrey Tambor, Portia De Rossi, Will Arnett, David Cross and Jessica Walter are effortlessly hilarious. The writing has to be best since Seinfeld, whether it has to do with sharp references to front-page news like WMDs, Abu Ghraib, Terry Schiavo, Enron, etc or pop-culture references like Henry Winkler playing a probably-gay lawyer hopping over a shark (if you don't get why this is hilarious, you must read this), OC, a wall falling over Buster but Buster being saved because of the window, how Rita (played by Charlize Theron) looked very ugly a year back etc.

It really is one of the series you need to buy a DVD for, because repeat viewings are much more fun, kinda like Coen Brothers' movies. Of course, if you are too cheap, you can always watch the show for free on MSN Video. MSN purchased the rights to the show after Fox cancelled it (the cancellation drama itself being the source of millions of in-jokes in the third season) and is releasing episodes one-by-one. So far they are up to the end of Season 1.

Its cancellation, because of a conscious decision not to reach out to the "idiot demographic", was really sad. I hope the show makes a comeback in some form. Watching just 2.75 seasons of a show of such high quality is like eating just 2.75 oz of a prime-rib steak. I hope that Ron Howard delivers on the promise he dangled in front of the show's niche cult following in the last scene of the series finale and makes a movie.

Not Bad, BCCI

The outcome of BCCI's World Cup post-mortem was expected to be either full of bluster or of symbolism. Either heads would roll in some knee-jerk decisions, or something very cosmetic would be done. What the BCCI has delivered though, is much better than expected. There are some moves I disagree with, but on the whole, there are more positives than negatives.

First, the decison to continue with Dravid as captain for the Bangladesh and England tours. Coupled with the show-cause notice to Tendulkar over his statements in the press, this is quite a remarkable move. In keeping with Indian cricket's traditions of parochialism, one would have expected the Mumbai-Cricket-Association-run BCCI to appoint aapla Sachin to the top job, and take his outbursts very seriously. Much like under Dalmiya, Ganguly was Dada. Instead they have stuck with Dravid and treated Tendulkar like any other player. Now in the first place, I think gag orders on players are stupid. And I am not a big fan of Dravid's captaincy. But this decision shows fair-mindedness, one which, might be wrong, but is not driven by petty politics. Give me wrong over under-handed any day.

There are some moves which are laudable. Making it mandatory for cricketers to play a minimum number of domestic games is good, but it will work only if the board does not pad the intervals between official tours with some meaningless ODI tournaments. bringing the number of teams in the Elite division of the Ranji trophy down to 10 is even also a good move.

The biggest positive is, of course, doing away with the crony-ist zonal system of selectors within a year. I hope this is actually done. Much like the removal of the license-permit-quota raj in 1991, this is an essential move which will be unpopular from a political point of view, but is absolutely necessary.

The really stupid move is that of restricting player endorsements. John Wright has written in his book that several players missed training citing ad shoots as a reason. If endorsement assignments really are interfering with training schedules, then missing the training should be penalised. But certain players, who can manage ad schedules even while sticking to the schedule, like professionals should, are being penalised by this move. What's more, such a restriction is probably illegal under the Indian Contracts Act.

Bismilla-ur-Rehman e Raheem...

Sabse pehle Allah taala ki galti.

He Really Doesn't Think of Toohey

The lengths to which newspaper editors in India go to, just to fill up their pages, are hilarious. Take this article about Sanjaya Malakar in DNA for instance. The writer, Suresh Nair, quotes the famous dialogue from The Fountainhead, when Ellsworth Toohey asks Howard Roark "What do you think of me?" and Roark replies "I don't think of you".

Suresh Nair goes one step ahead of Howard Roark. He doesn't think of Ellsworth Toohey so intensely, that he changes his name to Ellison Toohey.

Despite, Not Due To

Have you read about how incentives drive efforts? Even if you haven't studied economics, you would have at least an intuitive understanding of human behavior. If so, and if you have read about ads featuring Indian cricketers being pulled off the air, you will realise that the team's poor performance is not because of endorsement deals. It is despite the endorsement deals.

Sachin's Gambit

After 17 years of largely innocuous statements (except for the infamous declared-on-194 complaint), Sachin Tendulkar has spoken up. And in doing so, he has finally decided to make a withdrawl from his goodwill bank.

The Indian fans, led by the news channels, have been letting the team have it for their shock exit. And Tendulkar, who had a pathetic World Cup, has been at the centre of this attack. Everywhere you go, there is the "Sachin should retire" buzz around.

Sick and tired of all the bad press, Tendulkar has decided to speak out in the hope that a plaintive salvo such as this will win him the support back. And if he can deflect it all towards the failed Australian coach, why, nothing easier.

No one really has the moral high ground here. Everybody is wrong. I am not talking just about the 3 World Cup matches or even about just ODIs. I am talking about the test performance too.

Chappell is to blame, because there really has been no plan or strategy evident, apart from axing-reincluding-axing-reincluding players and shuffling the batting order like a pack of cards. A team's strategy is evident when it is fielding, and there has been nothing innovative on display there. Of course, he is not to blame alone, but he has made his own bed by being so high profile, making so many controversial statements, and so many radical changes which have failed. The proof of the pudding is in its eating. And the simple fact is he has failed.

The team is not without blame either. Their fielding has been pathetic, and you don't really need a million-dollar-coach to tell you that you need to field well. Their performances have been patchy, and uninspired. No newcomer except for Dhoni has really been able to really shine long enough. Raina, Munaf, Uthappa, Sreesanth have all been flashes in really constricted pans. And the seniors like Dravid, Laxman, Yuvraj, Kumble, Harbhajan, Sehwag etc have rarely shown the stomach for a fight when the chips are down. Ganguly will be thanking Chappell for forcing him out. He is the only blameless member of the team, probably because he has been back for just a few months.

As for Tendulkar himself, well, he has to realize that being a God has its down sides too. You are held up to a higher standard. You are expected to perform miracles and dazzle the world. The plunge in his stock has to do with more than the team's failure. If team success was the criterion, he would never have been hailed as the great one in the first place. And Lara would not be called the best batsman either. It is about magic. And the magic has gone from his game. He does not make batting look easy and divine any more. The team's loss has only magnified the issue.

So he has come out and spoken publicly. Will it work? I think it will. Sympathy will swing his way. Chappell will be vilified as a divisive force. He will be the bad guy. Dravid, I am sure, is sick of captaincy. Ganguly would be too dumb to take it back.

By speaking up, Tendulkar has sent a clear signal that he would not mind the captaincy back. And thus will start his third inning at the helm.

Hurray!!

I applaud the Mumbai police for the ingenuity and initiative they have shown in solving a very real and dangerous problem in the city - the vast majority (from my personal experience of two years, this majority is around 2-3%) of taxi and rickshaw drivers who tamper with meters, over-charge customer, and refuse short distance fares. I congratulate them for getting to the root of the problem. They should be feted for using technology to solve undoubtedly the biggest problem the city faces.

These taxi and rickshaw drivers always had it coming. Did you know that the biggest market segment for imported scotch whiskey, Russian caviar, Armani suits and ipod nanos in the city are these taxi and rickshaw drivers? I never get a table at a fancy restaurant in the city because these buggers are always there. They have also driven up the prices of first class air tickets.

This new system will teach them. When a compaint the filed, the miscreants will be nabbed by the police and heavily chastised. And to those who say that this is just another way for police to further harrass these drivers and extort bribes from them, I say pfooey.

I am also glad that government officials, IAS officers, and cops have not given a moments' thought to measures like deregulation of the taxi and rickshaw permit system, or allowing private companies to run taxi and rickshaw services. It is also heartening to note that money is not being wasted on useless and frivolous measures like setting up automatic vending machines for local train and bus tickets, putting the RTI process online, disclosure of road building contract details, or having such robust online complaint mechanisms for getting passports, drivers' licenses, property registration, pension disbursement, electricity complaints etc.

Fatcat taxiwallahs and rickshawwallahs are the real problem. Hurray for the common man!

India's Kerry Packer?

Subhash Chandra of Zee wants to become India's Kerry Packer. After the host of problems the Zee group encountered in buying broadcasting rights to Indian cricket, much like Packer in the 70s, it has now announced something called the Indian Cricket League which it will pump 100 crores into.

Though Zee says that their league will be complementary to the BCCI's domestic schedule, it will be interesting to see how the board reacts. Zee's plans are to sign up Indian, international and "junior" players for a league, much like the PHL for hockey. Will the board allow it, considering it could be the first step in the erosion of their monopolistic powers? Chandra has already criticized the BCCI's selection process, saying it has failed to create a pipeline of players.

The ambition with which Zee pursues this can have major implications. PHL has been a reasonable ratings success. Considering how mad the Indian public is for cricket, an ICL, with top Indian and international players, can be very lucrative for sponsors. In fact, the failure of the bulky Ranji trophy format is a massive indictment of the lack of marketing skills of the BCCI. ICL will have just 6 teams, which will ensure quality participation, which will hopefully lead to quality cricket and the deserving viewership. This will mean a lot of cash, enough to lure away big players from even the county scene or their own domestic scenes.

It will be interesting to see how events unfold after this. At that time, Packer was thought of as a villain, but history has shown that his contribution to the game has been invaluable, both in raising the vewership as well as the organization structure in several countries. BCCI still follows an archaic politicised system. Will ICL be the much needed competition that will shake cricket administration in India towards professionalism, just like the Packer Circus did to the ACB in the 70s and 80s?