Vantage point

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Daily SomeAchaar - Meeting the Statue Vandals

Mumbai, July 11 - It has been reliably learnt by the Daily SomeAchaar that the desecration of the statue of Thackeray's wife on Sunday was the umpteenth such attempt by the culprits, and they were glad it finally succeeded.

The culprits, speaking to the Daily SomeAchaar on conditions of anonymity said they were relieved that their 7th attempt was finally fruitful. It seems that they had been taking the efforts of sneaking into the statue area, and pasting it with mud every single day in the last week, only to be dismayed as torrential rain washed out all their hard work. Mumbai was lashed by heavy rains all through the last week, disrupting not just day-to-day life but also statue desecration.

"The rain really got on our nerves. We would go through all this trouble, dirty our hands, desecrate the statue, and wait for some retalitaion. Only to find that this damned rain washed away everything in a few minutes and left the statue spotlessly clean."

The culprits also experimented with different chemicals to ensure that the muck they used would not be washed off by the rain. But the force of the rain was just too much and all their hard work was undone every time.

They were delighted to see that there were no clouds looming over the horizon on Sunday morning when they finally succeeded. Even though their endeavours met with success, the wasted efforts of the previous days still rankle.

"Statue desecration is one of the pillars of Indian politics. If statues weren't desecrated, great men would not have been able to shape modern Indian history. Considering the significance of this activity, we would request the government to build large canopies for all statues so that the problems faced by us are not repeated in the future. this statue had a canopy, but it was too small to protect it from the torrential rain.", they said.

The culprits were also miffed at the government's plans to erect a big statue of Chhatrapati Shivaji in the sea off the coast of Mumbai.

"What is the use of such a statue? Do they have any idea how difficult it will be to desecrate it? Boats, ladders, helicopters, ropes.... so much effort. Why is the government hell-bent on a statue which can contribute nothing to the country?"

The two are in hiding these days and are engaged in negotiations for a contract to desecrate some more statues, the most prominent among them being Dr. Ambedkar's statue in Lucknow, since U.P. state elections are round the corner.